How To Love Someone

Without Lying

I stood before his house, creepy I know, but...How else could I get to him? He avoided me at all costs possible. This was where I wished I could read people's minds; it would make the game of anticipation twenty times easier on me. That period of time before rejection, you may dream and give yourself all this false hope only to have your heart smashed in the end. Love could be one brutal affair and I wasn't one all too used to it.

There came the rain drops and I found it oh so fitting for the moment. Would he even open the door for me? From what I could see his parents weren't home. It was just him. I blinked, it was a good opportunity, but I'd much rather waste it. I wasn't here to mess up this relationship some more, if I wanted to make it serious or at least get a serious rejection instead of some sick trick, I had to handle this as an adult would. Pity I never had a good parent figure. But that was how my life went, and...I'd seen other people handle it. My brother. Then again he wasn't the best influence either.

A sigh then I stepped forward, rapping my fist against this wooden door. Pounding was evident in my head, I could feel it pick up as I heard that familiar click of something being unlocked, my hand fell to my side and I bit down on my lower lip. I could feel it, fear rising up. What was I afraid of? Luke had been my friend since we were little kids! And he certainly wasn't any stronger than me, physically and mentally alike. I was too soft on him as it was and he seemed to think because of that I was easily pushed around. Sadly, that wasn't really the case. Allowing someone to push you around is different than actually being pushed around.

The door swung open, I swallowed staring down at those pair of grey pools, gazing back at me with curiosity from underneath those locks of black. As soon as Luke discovered who it was, his eyes widened with surprise, "Mark?" He whispered, I could see the fear come across in his expression, it caused me to grin. Told you I had power over him, and he of course knew it, especially since he was all alone and with just me...But I was too much of a sucker upper to do anything to this poor and seemingly helpless boy.

"I need to talk to you." I replied and it made Luke frown deeply, but since he didn't have any girls to impress he pulled the door open as he backed away, allowing me in and I looked down at him as he shut the door, 

"Come on...We can talk in the kitchen..." He motioned for me to follow and I trailed along, pulling on the collar to my sweater. As we sat, there came a moment or two of silence to pass, I ran my finger along the table, glancing up now and then to stare at the other. He was probably waiting for me to say something, but why not make him uncomfortable in this silence? I could see his muscles tensed, his hands gripping to his arms, 

"Well...What is it?" He finally asked me and I lifted my head from my gaze, my hand returning to resting in my lap as I frowned once again at my friend. Ex-friend it seemed now at least.

"We all know I've been denying it...I like you, Luke." I could hear him mumble to himself his disgust and I turned to look somewhere else so I wouldn't have to see that expression upon his face, knowing full well how angry it would make me. Someone who had promised to be my friend forever, but...No that would never last and dreams when you were six change as you get older. I nodded, "And now, instead of trying to screw me over, just say it." I looked back to glare down at him, I expected him to snarl at me and tell me to go home, but all I saw was this confused expression. His eyebrows furrowed, staring down at the top of his table, causing me to draw in a breath of surprise.

Another few moments of silence, Luke finally responded, shaking his head as if trying to shake away his thoughts, "I'm sorry." He whispered...I was sure he meant it, Luke was a different person when he was just with me, I preferred this side of him, but I couldn't prevent who he hung out with. I nodded my head, pushing up from the table, leaning on my hand to support myself as I waited half a minute to see if there was anything else to add 

Nothing. 

With another nod and sigh I headed back towards the door, my hand was twisting the knob when I heard a clattering, 

"Mark!" I turned around to see Luke, standing behind me and clutching onto my sweater, "I can't return your feelings! But..." Water sprouted in his eyes, "Please just say, we can stay friends." 

Usually I would wrap my arms around him, apologizing for everything I did and said and say yes that we could just be friends, but that would pain me far too much. He was just thinking of himself in this situation, and even if he tried to fake feelings with me just so I would stay, I wouldn't. Then again....I suppose I was being selfish as well. I wanted Luke to be mine and here I was, asking a boy to return my feelings are else I leave his life. 

No. I couldn't hang around. 

"Sorry." I pulled my sweater from his grasp then yanked the door open and stepped out into the rain. I didn't look over my shoulder I just walked away, listening to Luke cry, 'Mark!' after me, but what did he want? He couldn't return anything to me, I wasn't going to let him fake it, I couldn't be around him knowing full well that I disgusted him. It was one selfish and ugly affair, but I suppose that would just be how it was when you tried to love someone...

"Good bye Luke."

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Have fun with that ending</3