Girl? Boy. [Pheacker highschool AU] {ON HOLD}

Chapter 9

TW: self harm/ mentions of suicide (I really can't write anything happy lmao)

Philip's POV

After a completely normal day at school, I walk through the hallway looking for George. I peek around the corner and see him talking to Susan, I start walking over to them, but stop in my tracks as she presses her lips against his.
And he doesn't pull away.
I quietly back away, walking back down the hallway, but not before I accidentally catch George's eye, I turn around as I notice a glimpse of panic shoot across his face. I quickly walk away, biting my lip as I try to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I push the door open, slamming it shut, earning multiple protests from students behind me, I usually leave it open for people to pass through, but at this moment in time I honestly couldn't give a shit. They can open doors themselves, they're not dumb fucks.
"Philip!" I hear his voice.
I don't turn around.
"Philip!" Again, him.
I don't turn around.
"Philip!" And again.
I don't turn around.
"PHILIP!" I hear his footsteps quickening, as he quickly catches up to me, fuck being short.
"What do you want? Whore." I hiss, whipping around to face him.
"Philip, please let me explain-" He starts, his eyes looking at me hopefully.
"What is there to explain?" I laugh dryly "I was a quick fling, that's all." I cross my arms "And now you're back to sleeping with  your girlfriend. And I really don't fucking care! Do whatever the fuck you want but do not involve me in your life, whatsoever."
"So you did see the kiss." He mumbled, probably himself "Look Philip it's not what it looks like-" He frowns "Well I guess it is. I need a girlfriend to convince my father that I'm not gay."
"Well I'm a girl according to you so I really don't see your problem." I scoff, now refusing to look him in the eyes.
"Philip you know I don't think of you that way-"
"I opened up to you last night! I showed you my body. My horrible, pain inflicting body. I trusted you. And then you turn around and kiss that... that girl, after you made me believe you were gay. But obviously you were lying about that to! You view me as a girl! You just called me Philip to gain my trust and now you're going to slowly break me." I breath heavily, tears now freely streaming down my face, as my face twists with anger.
"Whatever! I tried to make things right but you refuse to listen! I'll just leave, goodbye, Philippa." He growls, turning around and walking away.
I stumble away, quickly wiping my face with my sleeve as I walk home, I open the door and run straight to my room, not wanting my mother to see me in such a state.
I slowly walk over to my sock drawer, rummaging through it until I find my blade, I smile, happy to be finally reunited with the only thing I can trust will do its job.

This is gonna be kind of explicit so-

I run the cool blade across my wrist, enjoying the sensation of the warm blood bubbling out of the deep incision, enjoying the crimson colour as it paints my skin. I continue making deep cuts, each one more satisfying as the last, my blood staining the floor as it falls. I stumble slightly as I unintentionally drop the blade, I know what fainting feels like, and this was definitely it. I smile as I slip in and out of consciousness, thinking happy thoughts:
Maybe if I'm lucky, I won't wake up...
And then, darkness.

George's POV

Okay so I fucked up. I didn't do it on purpose I swear. The name just... slipped out. And as for the Susan thing, I had to, I hated to hurt Philip but- If my father knew that I was dating a boy, and a trans boy at that, I would be dead. Possibly quite literally.
As I walk through the door, my father stumbles towards me, his eyes bloodshot and looking the angriest I've ever seen.
"So Mrs. Hamilton called me." He said, seeming dangerously calm "Told me that you'd been there yesterday, said it was a shame you didn't see Philip any more, also mentioned that she hoped I approved of your little relationship. What was that about huh son?" He smiles, sweetly, it was really fucking unnerving.
"Philippa." I 'correct' him, admittedly feeling terrible, but knowing that it was for the best "She's a girl, you must have misheard her." I smile nervously.
"I thought you were dating that Susan girl?" He asked.
"Yeah I am. We never said we were exclusive." I say, simply.
"That's my boy." He pats me on the back " WAIT YOU LIED TO ME?!" He roars "YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO SUSAN'S."
Jesus fucking christ him and his mood swings. It was like living with a girl on her period 24/7, every day of the year.
"Look dad, I'm sorry I didn't know how you'd react I was scared-"
"BUT YOU LIED GEORGE. LYING IS A SIN." He screams.
"Dad be reasonable-" I start, before being cut off by a hand connecting with my cheek, almost making me fall.
"YOU'LL GO TO HELL IF YOU SIN!" he shouts, grabbing an empty bottle of beer.
My eyes widen as I watch him bring it down onto me, smashing it against my head. A searing pain rushes through my skull due to impact, blood running down my forehead as the broken class pierces my skin. I tremble slightly, and run away from him, trying not to show that I was terrified. I stumble upstairs, opening my bedroom door and slamming it shut. I lean against the door, sliding down to a sitting position, the pain getting worse as the affects of adrenaline slowly wear off.
I bury my head in my hands, yelping in pain as it pushes a piece of class lodged in my forehead, I quickly conclude that that was a bad idea. Dots start to flood my vision, the room seemingly moving as I struggle to keep my eyes open. And then,
Everything went black.

AN: Well I apologize for the wait, I've been really fucking busy, sorry for the short chapter too, I was just trying to get some angst in bc no one is allowed to be happy for more than a day that's no fun :))) also for y'all that haven't seen I verified my account so you guys can dm me here now ;))1)-)1))1