Secrets

Regret

 "I'm coming home to an empty room
my head is spinning on a Sunday afternoon
there was a time when I had it all
I can still remember but I'm barely hanging on

so tell me what to do to make you change you're mind
I wish that I could find a way to turn back time
cause life's just not the same since you've been gone..."

_____________________________________________________

Three Days. 

Matt had been missing for three days. At first, on Friday, Jake thought maybe he was just with Sam. After all, he'd been frequenting her apartment a lot lately. (He pushed away the thought and slight guilt that he was the reason for that.) Jake had gone through his normal day without much thought; Matt would be back soon to eat dinner, or get more clothes or whatever. 

But he wasn't, and Jake couldn't help but notice it was a bit weird when he came back to the apartment without Claire for the first time in a while to find it completely untouched, no food made, everything in Matt's room exactly the way it was. Whatever, he'd thought. Surely Matt had grabbed enough clothes to stay another day at Sam's. He'd be back eventually. And if Jake had opted to stay in the apartment the whole day in tamped down hopes of catching his elusive roommate--well, that was his business, alright? He wasn't worried, of course not, it was just out of Matt's character to be out of the apartment for so long, okay? He was not worried, he didn't care that much. 

He sent a message to Sam, and after some debate, to Matt himself as well. 

He refused to acknowledge the knot of apprehension forming in his gut when midnight rolled around and there was still no sign of Matt or an answer to his texts. 

It was more of the same on Sunday when he'd come back after a day spent with Claire and checked around to see that the apartment was still cold and empty, Jake having been the only one living in it for the past few days. The knot had festered and grown into full-blown anxiety,  twisting his mouth into a frown and roiling in his gut in the most unpleasant way. He saw no notifications on his phone, making him huff in frustration, and he angrily unlocked the screen and jabbed the call icon by Sam's name first.

"Hi, this is Samantha Mejia. I'm not available to answer the phone right now, but leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you!"

"Goddammit," Jake muttered, hanging up and moving to Matt's contact in his phone. There was hesitation there, pride holding him back, and fear at whether Matt would pick up and what he would say if he did. They hadn't really talked much besides curt and short answers since their fight, and Jake knew it was mostly his fault. He'd avoided prolonged contact with Matt over that fight, too angry and conflicted about it to make any heads or tails about the way he felt. But this could be a matter of Matt's safety, and even though he had been denying it all this time... He still cared. He just refused to delve into how he cared.

He pushed the button. 

"Hello, this is Matt Rubio, if you could please leave your name, number, and reason for calling, I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as I receive your message. Thank you very much!" 

Immediate voicemail, just like Sam's. 

Jake had to resist the urge to throw his phone across the room in frustration. Why were neither of them answering their goddamn phones? What the hell was going on? Radio silence from both of them on their phones, their social media--everywhere he could reach them! He was so close to calling the police at this point and filing a missing persons report, midnight hour be damned. He scrolled through his contacts, wanting to try one more person before he resorted to that.