Speak up already - Phan

Chapter 8

Phil's POV

It was a few months later after that panic attack. Of course they didn't go away, they just never occured when Dan was close by, mainly because I didn't want him to worry. Not that I could even control them.

It's so weird to think about the short period of time Dan and I have known eacother for. And in that time, our friendship has become much stronger. Also, our family have met eachother by dinner every Saturday around eachothers places, so now I know his whole family very well and vice versa.

I'm not very sure what Dan and I are. Are we boyfriends? Or friends with benefits? I'm really hoping the first one and dreading the second one.

Since we don't really know, our family doesn't either. However, if we did happen to announce our relationship to them, I doubt they would be suprised.

Both our family know of our sexuality and are fine with it. My parents didn't kick me out on the streets or abuse me, they comforted me and told me how proud they were. Both my mum and dad were extremly supportive and I am so lucky. And same goes for Dan.

However, our parents do tease us about getting together. The small comments continued to grow as another month went by.

After four months went by of knowing eachother - which really felt like two years to me - when Dan's family were having dinner at ours, it felt as if our parents were playing a game to see when we would confess to our feelings for eachother.

It all started with my big brother Martin talking to Dan's little brother Adrian about school at the dinner table.

"Someone in school fancies my friend." Adrian said bluntly, stuffing a some of the vegetables on his plate into his mouth.

"Really? That happened in my school too." Martin replied, sipping at his glass of water. "Well, they both liked eachother, but were too scared to tell one another in fear of being rejected. It's like skinny love."

"I know two people exactly like that!" Adrian exclaimed enthusiastically.

Just then, my parents along with Dan's, all turn to face us who were coincidentally sitting right beside eachother, both wide-eyed. Adrian turned to look at us too and chuckled.

"Sounds a bit like Dan and Phil huh?"

"Shut up." Dan said quietly, cheeks heating up in embarassment.

"Daniel don't talk to your little brother like that!" Dan's mum scolded.

"Sorry mum." He replied sadly.

"He's right anyway." She smirked, turning to Dan's dad who chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Ignore her boys, but consider this a hint." He chuckled.

Dan frowned, playing with his food making me also feel sad.

Does he really not like the idea of us being together?

No of course not.

But he said that I make his heart beat faster and he gets butterflies!

He only said that to cheer you up, you blubbering pathetic baby. Disgusting.

But he said-

Stop making yourself believe this shit. Your so fucking stupid.

I stumbled out of my seat, looking pleadingly at my parents. "Toilet?" My mother asked as I nodded quickly.

"Yes you are exused." She smiled, as I run upstairs as fast as possible, obviously not needing the toilet but just needing to calm myself and get away from these thoughts again before I end up having another serious panic attack.