The Trial

Thirtythree

I pull my hand out from his grip, I tug on my necklace , a bow , it's pink and gold , I remember Ethan gave it to me , I rip it of hurting my neck slightly but I don't let it show , I gently open Ethan's hand and place the necklace into his palms. "I....I can't do this anymore Ethan." I stop , my breath hitches and a lump in my throat makes it hard to talk , hard to breath. I calm my breathing and continue " I'm in constant fear of you dying , of you getting hurt , of you leaving me , and I can't live with that fear anymore Ethan , I can't do that anymore." I stop and wipe the tears of my face.

Ethan opens his mouth and speaks " I'm sorry , I'm so fucking sorry for all the pain I have caused you , but I did this all for you , and I'm not trying to make you feel bad or sound selfish but I love you and all this pain was for you ." He breaths out and places his hands on his head. "I'm just so in love with you and , I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you , and the very first day that I laid my eyes on you I just fell in love , I couldn't stay away , your big beautiful blue eyes where captivating and I can't help loving you , but I'm sorry for it , I'm sorry that my feelings got you hurt and even made you hurt yourself." He stoped

After a long silence I finally said "it's hard" I turned and looked at him. "Loving You is so fucking hard , and I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it anymore." My voice was silenced by my tears I could barely hear myself anymore. But I made sure Ethan still heard me. He stopped crying. He sniffed through his nose . He was so broke , so hurt "but I can't stop loving you , how am I supposed to do that!" He was practically screaming. I looked away , I couldn't bare to see the hurt in his precious eyes.

"If you want me to go , I'll go." He said , he could barely finish his sentence.  "W..what" I say , confused , to what he had just said. "I keep hurting you , and if I stay , I'll carry on hurting you," he said , biting his lip to hold back the tears. "If you love someone you have to let them go right ?" he said with a Broken smile. I broke him and I'm the reason behind his tears. "If you want me to leave , then look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me to stay." He said quietly , I chocked on his words. Even if he does go I'll still have the memories , I won't be able to forget him , or Grayson or olivia , or the gang , but then I won't hurt no more , I could move away and be happy , or at least attempt to be happy.

"Paige , look at me" I turned my head to face him. "Do you want me to stay" he said anticipation and worry flooded over him , he was now Pale and his lips where bleeding from him biting them so much in an attempt to subside the tears.

I didn't answer his question , he spoke and repeated his last sentence, "do you want me to stay." But this time it was louder. I opened my mouth. "N..." I couldn't finish my word , let alone my sentence because a silhouette walked through the door. A beautiful nurse walked in she had long brown hair that hung below her waist even in a pony tail she had beautiful eyes that sparkled in the light  , she had rosy cheeks and plump lips. , "hi my name is Evie and I just need to run a couple of tests." She said tucking a piece of curly brown hair that had managed to escape her pony tail behind her ears.

Ethan looked up at her and wiped away the tears , he gently smiled and said "I'll wait outside" before kissing my head and giving me a smile.

He didn't come back after that .... that was the very last time I saw Ethan Dolan , the very last time...

so it's over , thanks everyone for reading the book and I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH comment if you want a sequel , if you do then I'll maybe write one ITS BEEN A FUN RIDE , and for the very last time P.S this story is far from over ;)

Love Paige xoxo

Mwah 💋