The Aftereffects | chanbaek

The Aftereffects of Byun Baekhyun: 05

Journal entry: 05
May 7, 2012
Time recorded: 9:51 p.m.

I have no words. I did something that forever changed me - and I'm not happy about it.

I betrayed myself.

I'm sorry.

End of journal entry.

--

May 7, 2012

Waking up the next morning, Baekhyun felt like shit. He was so incredibly sore and his body felt so odd. With a soft moan, he rolled over onto his side and peered up at the sleeping face beside him.

He felt a single tear roll down his cheek, while the one beside him sleepy blinked his eyes open and yawned. Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, and they smiled down at him before muttering, "Morning, puppet, did you sleep well?"

Baekhyun frowned and asked, "Puppet?"

They nodded and replied, "Yes, puppet. When I was younger I use to love those things, they were great, and you were great. You are great, so I'll call you puppet."

"Puppet," Baekhyun whispered again, trying it out. He furrowed his brow slightly and mumbled, "I guess that's okay."

Jungkook chuckled and patted Baekhyun's cheek. "I'll be right back, puppet. Wait here?" Baekhyun nodded. Jungkook smiled and stood up, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. But it didn't stick, and slowly opened back up by a crack.

As Baekhyun was putting his clothes back on from the night before, he overheard voices in the hallway, and knowing it wasn't meant for his ears, he tuned them out - all the way up until he heard his name being whispered.

"You slept with him! How could you do that, Jungkook!? Do I not mean anything to you!?" someone hissed.

"Jimin, don't be dramatic. It's not like it meant anything. I'm just using him, of course. I mean, for fuck's sake I just called him puppet and he didn't bat an eye. He's just too happy that I'm not hurting him to notice my intentions."

"And what are your intentions?" Jimin asked.

"To use him, obviously. Don't worry, we can have a lot of fun with this," Jungkook replied, a grin evident in his voice.

Tears rolled down Baekhyun's cheeks, and suppressing a sob, he hurriedly ran into the bathroom before quietly crying his heart out.

When he was able to more or less compose himself, he wiped his eyes and flushed the toilet - pretending - and turned on the sink to splash his face. After wiping away the water he walked back into the bedroom to see Jungkook walking back in. He was dressed as well.

Baekhyun didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should confront him or just go along like nothing had happened, but after a moment, he did decide to say, "You know, you took my virginity last night," Baekhyun mumbled, letting his sentence hang to see if he got a reaction. There was only a flicker in Jungkook's eyes before it vanished, and he replied, "That actually makes me happy, knowing that I'm the only one who has touched you like that." Baekhyun merely nodded, too numb to speak.

He doesn't care. He hurt me, and he doesn't care.... How can he be so heartless? So monstrous?

"Is that all you can say . . . that you're happy?" Baekhyun muttered bitterly.

He hasn't meant to voice that out loud, so when Jungkook asked, "You heard us, didn't you?" he became filled with instant terror and began to stutter, hyperventilating as he gasped, "Pl-please? I hadn't meant to, th-the door remained op-open after y-you left."