You're An Angel [Destiel Fanfiction]

Chapter 8

Chapter 8
I'm sorry I was born.

Castiel's P.O.V
The bell rang loudly and kids scrambled into the hall. Dean got up and waited on me to pack everything. "C'mon Princess, you're gonna make us late." Dean nagged.
"Late for..?" I questioned.
"Moving furniture."
"How many times will you say that today?"
"About 40 until we actually get going. Now hurry!" I rolled my eyes and kept packing. Dean grabbed my hand and hurried us out into the hallway, leading me to his car. We both got in and he practically tore up the cement just getting to his house. He pulled into his drive and drug me up the steps to the front door.
Dean threw down our things and we raced to his bedroom. He pushed me on the bed and looked into my eyes. "I saw that journal Cas," Dean remarked.
"What journal..?"
"Don't act like that Cas. The one where you wrote 'Dean will never love me back. So why do I bother anymore? I should just kill myself.'" I started to cry. What made him think he had any business looking in there? He saw that I was crying and he wiped them away. He looked deeply into my eyes. He put his hand on my cheek and spoke so softly to me, "promise me something.. That you'll never ever hurt yourself. I can't lose you. I've lost so much, and I can't lose you too." All I could do was nod. Of course I can't keep a silly promise like that.
"Now, how about that furniture?" He winked and kissed me roughly. Dean ran his fingers through my hair, and ran one hand down my thigh. I squeaked with pleasure and he giggled into the kiss. He started trailing kisses down my neck, and I moaned in pleasure as he slid his hands under my sweater. I ran my fingers through his hair as he bit down harder on my neck. I moaned his name softly, as he begun to raise my sweater up.

Dean's P.O.V
I kissed Castiel's tummy lightly. He blushed a lot and started squirming. I raised his sweater up more, and started I raise it over his head. "Dean... Dean I.. I can't..."
"Wh... Why..?"
"Dean I can't tell you.."
"Are you just not ready?"
"No, trust me I want to. But we can't.. You'll just leave me when you find out..."
"Cas, baby, you can tell me anything.." He just shook his head and wiped his tears away. "I can't Dean. Goodbye." And he left.
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Being alone isn't the worst feeling in the world. It's being around people who make you feel alone. Castiel just left me. I have all these questions hanging off my tongue and no one to answer them. I couldn't process what just happened. All my life I had girls swooning over me - guys would questioned their sexuality. So why was it any different with Castiel?
I got to school that Friday morning. I saw Castiel and he flagged me down and apologised for leaving me. I accepted his apology and we walked to class in silence.
That entire day I couldn't concentrate on anything. All I could think about was how he left me last night. How sad and scared he looked. And about his journal.. All I could think about was if he was serious about him wanting to kill himself. I decided I would ask him about everything tonight.

Castiel's P.O.V
Dean had to go home and do some things before he came over. I had 3 hours to spare. I cleaned for two hours and took a shower.
Dean's name was starting to scar over, but I didn't want it to leave. I started to cut his name again. Once I started my mind when blank. All I could think about was pain. All the hurt I've been caused. Everyone who had been so mean to me. Why me? Why did I deserve this? People always say that God makes no mistakes. If that's true, then what the fuck am I?
All the thoughts subsided when I heard a knock on my door. I looked down to see I was covered in them again. Hips and thighs and my wrists. "Just come in!" I yelled. I had quickly got out of the shower and began to patch myself up.
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Okay but seriously guys, sorry about the no smut. Dean just isn't allowed to know Castiel's many secrets, and you guys can't know some of them either!!! 😂 But please keep reading. I'm seriously very happy that you all love my story and all this.. I'm so blessed to have you guys. Thanks much, and keep writing!
-❤️ Lena