minds. fillie

- two -

CHAPTER 2 :

- be careful -

✎ finn wolfhard ✎

-

welp, that girl was interesting. even though her appearance was no other like i've seen before, she was really really pretty. all the girls here are the same but it's not their fault. we all have to act the same, and even though we get nice and expensive things, i hate acting like someone i'm not.

and once this school year ends, i'll be assigned a life long partner who i have to have kids with and get married to. my parents had no love for each other like that, they're best friends but they don't love each other like that. they each were in love with someone else, but they got each other while they watched their love of their lives go love someone else, so they bonded through that.

they loved each other but not in the way they loved the others, and i didn't want that for myself. i didn't want that for anyone else. but i had no say in it since my life was controlled by they authorities. and i would be lying if i said it didn't really suck. cause it did. it really, really did.

maybe i'll get to experience love, but only a taste of it. i won't get the lifelong savoring of it.

i don't want that for myself. i want what's best for me, even if it means me being alone for the rest of my life.

but i really did mess up with that girl, even though she was very intimidating, i felt bad for being ignorant and judging her right on the spot just cause of her appearance. she was gorgeous anyways, i mean she could've been wearing a thrash bag and she would've looked amazing still.

i was just in a terribly bad mood since the judgment  call will be happening in the matter of a month, the day we graduate from high school. then we get assigned a job that will best suit us, and how many kids we need. we don't get to chose it, they do.

maybe i should find her and go apologize? nah, i'd be in so much trouble, us normals don't ever break the rules.

after contemplating on going over the border or not, i just decided on going back home, since it was getting pretty dark out by now. my parents were most likely not to be awake by now but if they were they would definitely not be happy with my choice of staying out later than usual. so i should probably get home by now...

but my feet continued to skid across the pavement, -and my mind continued to stay in clutters as my thoughts soon drifted off some where else,

i literally couldn't get her off my mind, the guilt was eating me alive. i really wanted to learn more about their insurgent side and what they're personality and way of life was like, not judge them upon their looks.

and that was it, i was going to cross the border but i had to ask one of my friends to come with me first cause if it were to be just me, i wouldn't last a second.

-

"hell no!" caleb yelled, eyes filled with disbelief and disgust.

"we deserve to live our lives and discover what the other side is like! we don't even know the people back there, there could be so many people back there that we are meant to know!" i argued, my hands going up dramatically.

"like a bestfriend." noah butted in, smiling lightly at me, reassuring me in a way.

"a soulmate! caleb, what if you found the love of your life behind the border! we could find so much stuff there, that was meant- not meant, made for us! and i think something is begging me to go out and discover those secrets behind the border." i desperately pleaded and his eyes began to soften.

"but we still wouldn't be able to be with them, you know the rules wolfhard..." he sighed, rubbing his temples.

"it doesn't matter, at least you knew you found her. i would wanna find out and get hurt in the process of trying then not know and stay ignorant. we could find them and love them even for their flaws, and we could hopefully keep them in our arms for the rest of our lives. now if we were to do this, there's a possibility this could happen." i trailed off as i began to fiddle with my fingers.

"a possibility? finn, what are you going on about now!" he exclaimed, frustratingly.

"we could change the rules, we could rebel." noah gasped at the word rebel but nonetheless continued to listen to my idea.

"we could die!" caleb cried out, his eyes showing his thoughts. fear and pity, he really felt bad for me but he didn't need to.

"i'd rather die knowing i tried." i told him, shrugging off his previous words.

"okay, i'm in, but only for this possible soulmate. you know i've always wanted to find my persona but, if the cops show up, i'm out. they see a black kid doing some shady shit, they'll shoot me right away." he frowned. it's always been like that, even if he lived on the more privileged side, he was still treated with disrespect. his parents had to bribe our leader into letting them stay. i'm glad he said yes because caleb's one of the closest friends of mine and i wouldn't be where i am now without him.

"ok, go get your stuff together guys. it's go time."