A Vida Barco

【2】

【2】

"Hey man", Ryan said as I fell into the chair next to him. The table in front of me was full with hero cards.

"You haven't been at sponsoring and fan events for a long time", he went on while signing a few of them.

The sun was burning, it was really hot and since we sat under the roof of a tent NASCAR had set up for us for the autograph session, it was even hotter.

"Did you hear me?"
I looked up. I'd been staring at my hero card. Honestly, how stupid. I didn't want to see these cards. I didn't want to see my face. My alleged achievements in this sport. They were nothing.

I simply nodded.
"I haven't felt well in the past few weeks", I said.

The first fans were coming. Ryan didn't answer because he was busy talking to them. Soon, some of them came to me. Usually, I liked autograph sessions because I liked to see all the little children. When I had contact with the fans, I felt important. At least a little bit. I felt like I actually did something propper.

But now, I didn't even enjoy the autograph session.
Some of the fans were talking to me, but I didn't respond. I couldn't. I didn't want to. I just kept sitting there, signing hero cards in record time. I did realize how disappointed some of them were about my actually cocky appearance.
It must've seemed like I was too arrogant.
But I wasn't. I was just unhappy. So unhappy I couldn't hide it.

Besides the fans disappointed looks, I saw
Ryan glancing over at me from the corner of my eye. My friend was the most active driver when it came to fans. Since I knew what I looked like, I could imagine what he was thinking. Ryan probably didn't like the way I was acting.

"Could you sign this for my son, please?"
A lady was looking at me. I had a look at the hero cards, but the bunch that laid in front of me before was gone.
I'd been signing so quick that I was done. I glanced over at Ryan, who kept talking to the fans, taking pictures or videos. That's why he wasn't done yet, I thought.
I looked at the woman again and sighed.
"Where?"
She held up a little model car. I lazily put my signature on it. I put the lid on the pen again and handed her the car back. I didn't look at her, I just wanted to leave. My look fell on the huge crowd still waiting.

"Are you trying to be cool or something?"
I heard Ryan hissing all in a sudden. He was still sitting in his chair, signing hero cards, not looking at me.
"What?"
My friend turned around and looked at me.
"Are you trying to be cool?", he repeated. "Because if so, let me tell you that you aren't. You're acting like an idiot."
I knew what he meant. I probably really did.
"No", I said, too tired to actually talk to him.

"Listen", Ryan got up all of a sudden, leaving the queue of people waiting behind. I followed him hesitantly. My friend pushed me to the back of the tent.
"I don't know what's wrong with you, but you've been ignoring everyone. All you did was signing hero cards. You ignored people asking for pictures. You ignored people asking for anything else. And the way you handed the woman her model car back was the most arrogant way to do that."
Ryan crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at me.
I shrugged.

"I'm just not feeling fine, Ryan. Actually, I feel sick", I groaned.
That wasn't even a lie.
"And?"
"Ryan, I'm in a bad mood. I'm sick. I'm having a bad day. I can't be the nice guy twenty-four seven"

"No one asked you to be the nice guy twenty-four seven, but you don't need to act like a dork. Sorry, but that's what you did. Haven't you seen people's faces?"

I had seen their faces. I knew that I should've felt bad. But I didn't. Simply because I was tired of everything.

"I have", I said. My voice was expressionless.
I felt his hand on my shoulder. It made me feel uncomfortable for somehow.
"You aren't like that, Chase," he said to me in a soft voice.
"I can imagine that you're not feeling well, you're not looking good, to be honest, but you aren't the guy to disappoint his fans. They make the life possible you're having."

How right he was. They were making the life possible I didn't want to have.
We had a look back at the queue.
"Come on, let's take some pictures and sign fancy stuff.
He winked and grinned. I wish I could be as happy as he was. He was so enthusiastic.

I followed him back to the table where our seats were.
I heard Ryan talking to a little boy and his parents. A few meters away from me sat Kyle, eagerly signing his hero cards.

"Hi", I heard a young man say who held up a variety of model cars of mine, in different paint schemes.
"Hi", I replied and exhaled loudly while I took the first car to sign.
I barely had any eye contact with him. I was concentrating on the bright orange of the Hooters paint scheme.

"I love your driving skills", I heard him say.
"Thank you", I mumbled while I handed him the first car and took the second one.
I placed the tip of the pen on the car's roof to sign when I heard him talking again.
"I wish I was living the life you guys are living here"

My heart dropped. The pen slid with its tip from the roof all the way down to the model cars back tire.
I stared him in the eyes, not realizing what I had done.
I didn't know what to say. This guy was so wrong.
He didn't know what to say either. He just looked at me, pretty confused.

I saw the black line I accidentally had drawn on his car.
"I'm sorry", I said, looking up at him and then back down at the car.
Hectically, I signed the car and handed it back to him. He had a closer look at the 9 car with the thick black line on the left side.
Then, he shrugged.
"Doesn't matter. Thanks for the signature", he said and smiled.

I felt beads of sweat on my forehead. I really started to feel sick. The nausea was rising, my hands started to shake.
I felt so many glares on me.
I didn't want this. I dropped the pen and turned around, on shaky legs. It was hard to get through the crowd. I increased my speed, ignoring Ryan calling for me.
Tears started building up in my eyes, and I didn't know why.

"Chase!", I heard some call out, and as I looked around, there were two little boys running for me, waving with a Sunoco flag for me to sign.

"Could you sign this?", I heard a female voice ask, a woman looking at me, her eyes full of anticipation.

The nausea didn't stop. I pushed them away, ignoring their surprised faces and indignant cries.

I flew into my trailer, my second home, the home I hated. The sickness was at its high level. I couldn't stop it. The door slammed shut behind me. I barely made it to the sink. Then I threw up.

.

Thank you so much for taking your time and reading my story! I really appreciate it. Please consider to leave behind a vote or a comment in case you enjoyed it!
If you didn't, let me know why. Also, feel free to contact me every day!