True Silk, Book I | 18+ (Completed)

chapter xi | We Loved It

CHAPTER XI
WE LOVED IT

᥏ I SAT IN BED, wincing in discomfort.

The heat was gone now, but in its place was an ache. And not the pleasant coercion of need. No. This one seemed to be an incurable ache. The one that hurts too much to move. One that left me wishing it was the Eros that had its last days to continue.

For the majority, the ache settled between my thighs. My core. Where Carinus had taken me mercilessly and ruthlessly the night before. Against my will.

Yes, I enjoyed the intimate foreplay but I hadn't wanted to lose my innocence. And most especially, not to him. I was still in the peeking stages of female hormones – where one is likely to have children.

I'd sworn to my mother that I would settle down, present it to the person I loved – though I had assumed that I would never love anyone. And of course, that happened to be her worst enemy. Now, it was stolen from me in the most . . . pleasurable . . . way.

I curled my lip in disgust, loathing the fact that I had – towards the end – begged him to go on. That memory brought heat to my cheeks. It wasn't supposed to be that way. It wasn't supposed to be executed like that.

And although I would forever abhor him for what he'd done, I could never be able to look at him the same way, and I was livid and depressed by the fact that a thing so precious to me had been stripped from me in such a cruel manner . . . I couldn't bring myself to weep over it.

Still, I wasn't quite sure if it could be considered rape because nowadays it had a different meaning than what it used to in the eyes of the law.

In a way, I was nearly relieved. It was gone, and I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I would say that I was almost . . . glad that it was elsewhere, but the way it left was not okay with me.

Of course, my eyes did water. But not a single tear fell from my eyes. No. I wouldn't cry for him. Not for him.

Although my body was extensively bruised, and screaming at me to just lie back down for a few more days, I pulled myself up out of the bed.

Resisting the urge not to collapse, squeeze my legs together, and whine, I limped – more like fumbled – towards the bathroom doorway.

It funny how I hadn't bothered to check if I were alone or not, for, to my left, Carinus was silently knelt for an unconscious man – Axel, I recalled. He untied him graciously, not in any rush whatsoever. When he perceived my stare, he quietly glanced at me, though I don't know why I thought it surprising that his eyes were back to that dark shade of blue.

For a long time, we just gazed at each other, words between going unsaid. They didn't need to be spoken because I was too afraid that if they were, I might break down. And who wanted that besides him?

Abruptly, he stood up, causing me to stumble back against the wall, heart beating in my throat as Carinus unknowingly towered over me. The man grasped the small of my back, gently pulling me into the bathroom with him. Gently.

Gentle.

Something was entirely too wrong with that.

Propping me against the wall, he turned on the water, watching me to see if I'd fall over or not. His eyes were devoid of emotion, much more blank than last night. He was just . . . watching me in no large or fastidious manner.

Turning off the water, he sluggishly rose this time, diplomatically grasping my fingers and helping me into the bath. I eased into it. It, fortunately, did help to sooth the pain.