october 16, 2017
i managed to finish september while avoiding him, except those times where i would tutor him, it was so hard and i guess he has understood what i'm doing.
he avoided me too, it was double the hurt but i had so much in front me i couldn't waste my life right now, or that's what other people would say.
"is there any cure for this hanahaki disease?" i asked my cousin, she was paying a short visit and i shared to her my hanahaki experience.
"yes, it's either surgery or he needs to feel the same about you." she explained, "or else it'll lead to a sudden death." she finished, mumbling the end.
i was flustered, i can't manage to do anything of that. i'm afraid of surgeries, even needles, and it's too hard to make him feel the same way! he's avoiding me now and he is dating already. how could i do anything?
"surgery is the easy way, but the feelings will go with it too." she said at a sudden, i looked at her shocked and everwhelmed.
"hyungmi, i know you're afraid of needles and anything related to surgeries. how about we make seungmin like you." upon hearing her words it made my heart fastened.
i gulped down and yeah as usual tears kept flowing down, she took notice of my actions and hugged me "on second thought making him like you is the worse plan ever." she took back her words as she let me cry on the crook of her neck.
it's too hard to let seungmin go, i don't really know if it's the best to forget him. wait, will it even work? "unnie, why can't i be contented of just being friends?" i murmured in between my sobs.
it's too late to make up with him, he's avoiding me and he looks to good living his life without me in it. i should've never been friends with him, yet i spend a lot of memories with that guy who is the cause of these stray flowers in my lungs.
"shhh think this out, okay?" she patted my head which calmed me down a bit.
i felt a pinch of pain stinging on my arm, i took a glance on it and what i saw is totally freaking me out a lot.
"why is there petals?" she asked.
i don't know if i can survive all of this.
