october 31, 2017
our school came up with this halloween party, everything was decorated into anything spooky. they even turned the school building into a haunted mansion.
"it's halloween, not valentine's." i mumbled to myself as i see that popular couple dressed up as newly weds. ew. as you can see we all need to dress up as anything we want.
and in my case, i was dressed in a dinosaur onesie. this is actually my cousin's onesie, i stole it from him.
"i wonder what he is wearing." a what suppose to be a thought came out from my mouth, oh i see that i'm still deeply obsessed with him. can't moving on be easy like counting one two three?
what a timing, seungmin passed by me and he's not technically dressed as anything but a guy in a gray hoodie with somewhat looks like bedhair.
i wanted to approach him bad luck i'm too scared, i mean who wouldn't be. i'm anxious about conversing with him because of what happened between the both of us.
i was just standing here zoning off and thinking about every decision i made concerning him.
"i'm messed up big time." i spat out, i lowered my head and ran away. i don't know where i'm going i'm just running.
eventually i got tired, i stopped at the volleyball court, no one is here and no one even bothered decorating this part. it seems empty like real empty.
the wind was cold, and the atmosphere was sad. it perfectly matches with my own situation, i cried. i'm crying all my sadness and frustrations in my life out.
"these feelings only ruin my happiness." i shouted, nobody is near so why would i just keep it to myself. "i had to throw away our friendship to contain this feelings, i'm messed up." i'm once more, then i coughed.
rose petals.
looking at the wound on my arm, i saw the same petals like i saw when my cousin visited.
i looked up to the sky and yelled, "does everything i do need to be shit?!" i know i'm just overreacting these things but i just couldn't take it anymore.
i coughed more, more petals fell. "i should die." i mumbled and held my arm that was also throwing up flowers from my wound.
