Dear Luke
It feels like I'm choking on air every time I breathe. I don't eat, I don't sleep. There's no dreams without sleep, but if I could dream, I'd be dreaming about you.
I don't know why you mean so much to me, still. I don't know why you ever did. Sometimes people come along and they change how you think about things. You did that Luke. But that can't be it right? People can't just come into our lives and move things around and then walk out again.
What did I do wrong? I've convinced myself of so many things. I've said sorry so many times and you never answer. You never even hear me or see me. You don't want to.
Nothing is as bright as you made it. Everything is dark, the way it was before I met you. I'm all alone again and I'm so scared. I'm scared of being alone and scared of myself and my thoughts.
I don't want to depend on you.
You aren't even there.
I'm so fucking tired.
...You used to care, Cali xx
