And Just Like That I Started Loving You. {Finished}

E I G H T E E N.

''What's wrong?'' He whispered. I was focused on my book, but then my attention was on him. His eyes seemed to be a bit dull, but so were mine. I was feeling so drained, and both mentally and physically weak.

''Nothing, I'm reading.'' I lied. I wasn't really paying attention to the book. The words looked blurry to me and I wasn't in the mood for a book. But I had to get my mind out of the situation.

Here's the thing, three days ago I heard Namjoon and Eric talk about some girl, Valerie. According to the conversation I spied on, she was dating Jungkook months before he met me. But that's not all, she was his first love, you can put it that way. She was in town and I quote what Namjoon said, 'they'll probably see each other, you know, to fix things and put an end or not'. I was wearing my earphones, pretending I was listening to music. But I really wasn't. To be honest, I didn't plan to hear the conversation, but her name popped and the word ex and his plans for this week. I was acting strange around him, but I think it's unfair how I was having no clue about this girl and what she meant to him. I thought trust was at the top of our list and the fact he decided to be oblivious about it all, made me want to punch him in the face, but then run for ice to help him with the hurt.

''I know something's wrong.''

''Damn it, Jungkook. Stop.'' I scoot over away from him. My eyes went straight to the book, not even looking at him from the corner of my eye. I wanted him to tell me what was going on, but no word about that topic was coming out of his lips. That made me feel like crap. The lack of trust I was having for him lately was getting the best of me.

''Fine.'' He stood up from the floor and walked away. My back was still supported on the wall, as my knees were tucked under my chin. The book was next to me, waiting to be held, but my attention was drifted away. I pressed my lips together, trying to contain myself from breaking down into tears. The library was silent, except for few murmurs traveling between book shelves. I let out a sigh, and closed my eyes. Trying to think about happy things was the first thing on my list, for I didn't want bad things to shatter me down.

After an hour of contemplating the current situation we were storming on, I decided to go and talk to him. I found him with one of his friends. She was holding a book against her chest as they spoke. His hands were doing weird movements, he was probably talking about some project.

I was hesitating to walk over to them, still I did. ''Hey.'' I joined, kind of interrupting the conversation. The girl just smiled at me and I looked at him.

''We'll talk later, okay?'' He told his friend and she left, waving goodbye to both of us. ''What is it?''

''We need to talk.''

''We do.'' He grabbed my hand and we walked over to a bench. It was a perfect spot to talk about what was going on.

''I'm sorry I've been acting weird lately.'' I said as I sat down next to him.

''What's wrong? Is it your mom? Your dad?''

''No,'' I shook my head. I was too afraid to look him in the eye. ''I've been thinking about a lot of things.''

''Are you leaving me?'' His eyebrows furrowed and for a split second I thought about it, but I loved him too much to do such thing, so I shook my head and let a nervous chuckle out of my lips. ''Then what is it?''

''I'm scared. Because I'm getting attached and I don't want to be the one who is going to end up hurting. I don't.''

''I'm not going to hurt you, for the millionth time, Persis.'' He was serious. No smirk or grin on his face. He was probably tired of my insecurities, but it's hard not to have them when almost every girl wants to be with him. When every girl he talks to is pretty and how friendly he is with every single one of them. I wanted to cry, not because I was weak. Simply because I think this was coming to an end.

''I'm sorry!'' I blurred out, not even daring to look him in the eye. ''I'm sorry...'' My voice was low this one time. I took a deep breath and then, I finally had the courage to look at him. My eyes were full of fears and so many doubts about us, him, her, me. About everything.
''I'm sorry you're feeling this way, I understand-''
''No you don't,'' I interrupted. ''I feel sad and drained and hopeless and all I can think about is how you're going to leave me all of a sudden and I know my heart won't be able to take it because I love you that much. I'm sorry I'm a wreck, I didn't plan to feel this way.''
''Persis, one thing you shouldn't do in life is to be sad. There's so many joyful things around and-''

''Are you freaking serious?'' I was getting mad. ''You can't control sadness, Jungkook. I'm sorry my life isn't as perfect as yours, no one has the ability to have emotional stability like you do. No, I correct, no one has the ability to pretend nothing's ever wrong.'' I stopped to catch a breath.

''Calm down and then we'll talk.''

''No, we're talking now. I'm afraid you'll hurt me because I love you, that's all you need to know.''

''I'm not going to do what your ex did to you.'' Did he really feel the need to bring him up? Stupid Jungkook. Actually, stupid me for talking to him about emotions he has never felt in his life because his stupid life is perfect. Perfect family, perfect friends...unperfect girlfriend. I was the only thing not perfect in his life. And that to me, was a major screw up.

''I know, you know what? Never mind. I need to get home, the bus is leaving in a couple of minutes.'' I pecked his cheek and left him alone at the bench. I was so mad and disappointed, because the only person I thought would understand how I was feeling, didn't even have a glimpse.

♡・゜・ 。・゜・ 。・゜・ 。・゜・ 。・♡

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