And Just Like That I Started Loving You. {Finished}

N I N E T E E N.

A week after the argument and things were even worse. We barely spoke. And when we did, words were dull and lacking emotion. When we kissed, it didn't feel the same. He didn't even hold my hand anymore. Last night I called him, just for the sake of wanting to get things like they were before. And to invite him to the movies, so we could watch 'The Fault in Our Stars'. Since I was dying to watch it, mostly with him. He said he was too busy, doing homework and studying. I was feeling the pain of rejection like a thousand needles, like a thousand knives and like a  thousand bones breaking. But I didn't say anything, it was probably me over reacting and taking things out of context.

I say the hardest part of loving someone is watching them grow apart from you. It's like every word you ever said and everything you did to keep the tied untied, was useless. Watching them slowly walk away from what you had, is the hardest part. Only because you see it slowly happening, in slow motion and there's no flash forward button. Just a stop or pause button, and it just makes it worse. Because you try to hold on to someone who doesn't want to be held on to. It's like pulling on a rubber band too tight. One of them always gets hurt, and in this case...it was me. But of course, Persis Lewis the most hopeless romantic girl ever was getting hurt over again by someone who promised her they wouldn't even bend their thumb.

I wondered if he felt like he was really hurting me. I doubt it, he probabyl had no clue how he was making me feel. It sucked that I couldn't talk to him about that, because according to him, people do wrong when being sad. When he said that, I swear I wanted to punch the crap out of him. It made me so angry to even believe he wanted me to keep it all inside.

''Hey,'' I felt a slight touch on my arm. I turned around and it was him. He was wearing a blue shirt and he looked concerned. ''We need to talk.'' Four words that were enough to send shivers throughout your body. I wasn't the only person who was afraid of those words.

''Sure,'' I cleared my throat. ''As in right now?''

''Do you have time?'' He asked. I did, but I was delaying the moment.

I decided to lie. ''I just need to give Alex some papers, see you here in a few minutes?''

''Sure,'' He sighed. ''I'll wait here. Don't take too long.''

''I won't.'' I walked away from him, trying to keep my head up high. I knew where Alex was, so I rushed to get there. I took my cellphone out as I walked over there, dialed her number and waited for her voice to reach my ears. My breathing was heavy and my knees were making me feel completely useless as I walked.

''Persis?''

''Thank God you answered,'' I gulped, and then catched my breath. ''Jungkook is going to break up with me.''

''What? Stop talking nonsense, that guy loves you.''

''Well, yeah I think his love is pretty much over.''

''Where are you?''

''Outside your class,'' I cleared my throat. ''Are you doing a class work or something?''

''Teacher's not here yet, wait for me outside.'' She hung up and I waited for her to come out.

She was approaching me now. ''Alex, I'm scared,'' I closed my eyes, trying not to let the tears fall down. ''I don't want him to leave me.''

''I promise you he won't.'' She hugged me and I started to sob. Her hand was stroking my hair, trying to calm me down. All I wanted to do was to cry, in a dark corner with sad music.

''Wish me luck.'' I hugged her one more time before leaving. As I started walking, from a fair distance I saw he was still there, talking to Namjoon. They were probably talking about how he's going to leave me and how annoying I was. I walked over to the both of them, Namjoon looked at me with pity in his eyes and smile too.

''Let's go,'' He slightly touched my shoulder, leading the way. Then stopped. ''See you later.'' He said to Namjoon. Yup, you'll see him right after you finish cracking my heart. Way to go Jungkook. We walked in complete silence, only the sound of other people's conversations as they walked past us. We got to the bench where we discussed my insecurities, one week ago. It felt like this was the place of breaking apart a deal. I looked at my feet as we sat down, my book bag was placed on the ground.

''So...''

''Listen, you clearly know how special you are to me, right?'' Really, Jungkook? I nodded. ''I want you to know how beautiful, smart, amazing, funny, caring, sweet and special you are. But I don't see us in a future,'' 'Don't cry, Persis' was all I could think about. ''We have a lot of things in common, but I think it's the opposite that's breaking us apart. We are different people and you think in a different way than I do,'' Of course we were. No two people are alike. ''I hold so much love for you, your friends and your family. But I have to end this.'' It hit me like a truck. Like a billion bricks falling from the sky. I didn't understand how something so cruel could come out from someone so sweet as him. How something sounded like a total lie, but with a touch of truth. I didn't know what to say, even though I had this moment planned out in my head from days ahead. I was speechless. There were no words to actually describe this moment and the amount of pain that was thrown at me.

''I understand,'' I didn't. ''I feel the same way about us. It's for the best.'' I lied. I wanted to cry, for him to hold me in his arms and never let me go. But that was something that wasn't going to happen, ever. He just looked at me with an 'I'm done' look. Like this thing didn't mean a thing to him.

''Are you sure?'' I nodded. ''I want to be friends,'' Of course he wanted to. That's what everyone says. And if you are the one breaking up, that line is a must. People think it makes the situation better, WRONG. It just makes it even worse. ''I enjoy spending time with you and your friends are amazing and just as fun as you are.''

''Thanks,'' I took a deep breath. ''We are friends.'' I stated, the not-so-obvious. He took me in a hug and in that moment I saw everything we ever did and everything we ever said, before my eyes. Tears started to form in my eyes, not because I was losing him. Simply because feeling your heart breaking, for the person who helped you pick up the pieces was definitely the most humiliating thing to exist. This was it. This was the expected goodbye. I knew it was going to hurt, but never like this.

So he let go, and I looked into his eyes and saw them glow, like the very first time our eyes met.

Damn you, Jeon Jungkook.

♡・゜・ 。・゜・ 。・゜・ 。・゜・ 。・♡

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