EASE | unique salonga

she way out

/ Naga City, Philippines
7:15 PM, Thursday /

It's been 3 days since Unique started talking to me again. We don't constantly message each other, as in every second. He's obviously still busy being well, Unique Salonga and I – Isla, is still a nobody.

Direct Messages > with Salonga, Unique T.

< Aesthetic
< Me ^^^

Ano nanaman >
What >

< I-google mo nalang, island

Yak baduy! >
Duh alam ko kung ano yun >
Wow "giving pleasure through beauty?? >

< DUH

Pano ka naging aesthetic? >
Ang pangit mo. >

< OUCH
< Matuto kang rumespeto sa mas nakakaganda sayo, wala kang modo.

HAHAHA ay sorry, nadulas lang >
Mahapdi ba? Need mo band-aid? Hahahaha >

< Wala ako nun, actually

> Seryoso??

< Yeah

Edi bumili ka sa 7/11 >

< Sana nga pwede eh, but the floor of 7/11 doesn't look comfortable.

I stare at my phone, unable to reply. How do I respond to that? He's implying that fans might trample him again. I always feel guilty even because of the tiniest things when I talk to him. Every time we do, I always say something that sets him off and I hate it. It always feels like I'm crossing the boundary.

I'm sorry ... Sige, kapag nagkita tayo bibigyan kita ng madaming band-aid>
Kamusta? >

< I'm okay.

Napapansin ko sa mga reply mo na hindi ka okay ... >

< Hindi ako okay kanina pero okay na ako ngayon kasi kausap kita.

Unique, nag-aalala talaga ako para sayo>
Kaya kung kailangan mo nang makakausap tungkol sa mga bagay bagay >
Andito lang ako >
Kahit tungkol sa grocery list niyo, sabihin mo sakin. Ok? >

< Alam kong nag-aalala ka
< Thank you

Wish we could talk on the phone instead >
Ang hirap kapag sa dm lang >
It's not very expressive >

< Me too.

Then why don't we? >

I groan loudly after sending the message, I am instantly regretful. I know he won't respond, because that's what he does whenever the talk of us meeting or us talking over the phone comes up. He just doesn't trust me yet. And I think he never will.

I started pacing around our living room, trying to distract myself. I could go out tomorrow, maybe to a bookstore. I thought. I just need a freaking distraction.

My phone buzzes again, but I didn't bother to check it this time, I just ignored it and decided to go to bed without dinner like I usually do. I pass by the calendar, suddenly remembering that it's already summer vacation in just two weeks.

I get into my bed, feeling emotionally and physically drained. I need a break. I'm starting to sound like I don't like talking to Unique anymore. I do. Maybe it's absurd and silly, considering the circumstances. But I just want Unique to trust me completely, to finally treat me as his friend, I'm trying so hard to be. I want to be that friend he'd confine in. But no matter how hard I try, he always reminds me of the boundaries between us. Our lives are just too different to be combined at this point.

I closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to the sound of my phone buzzing and then ... complete silence.

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