Cheated (Phan)

Chapter 3

It'd been two weeks since I ended things with Jack, and while I still got longing looks from him whenever we were in the same place, he hadn't laid another finger on me or said anything to me, just as I'd requested really.

The only problem was that I'd been getting texts from him on a daily basis, some accusing, some practically begging for forgiveness, others neutral. And all of them annoyed me, usually not because of the content but because of how I felt about them. I still got the same happy nervous and excited feeling I used to get when we'd still been dating when I opened the messages, still felt the same tingle down my spine when he said something that appealed to the overwhelming part of me that still loved him despite what he'd done; still wanted to be with him.

*****

Tuesday:

Phil, I'm so sorry for what I did to you, I honestly don't know why I did it. I just regret it so much baby. All my love xxx

Oh how I wished I could believe him.

*****

Wednesday:

I miss you so much. It's only been a couple of days and yet it feels like the most important part of me is missing. All my love xxx

And what part would that be? His memory or his conscience? Did he forget he cheated on me or did he just not care?

*****

Thursday:

No-one's eyes are the same as yours you know. Yours are just such a beautiful colour and I miss being able to look into them without seeing anger or hurt in them. I'm so sorry Phil. All my love xxx

Who caused the anger and hurt?

*****

Friday:

When I told my sister we'd broken up and that it was my fault she slapped me. It's not just me who misses you baby. All our love xxx

I missed Kitty too. But what he was doing wasn't fair.

*****

Saturday:

I just wish we could move past it and get back together. Can't you imagine any way in which you could forgive me? All my love xxx

Yes, if he just looked me in the eye and apologised I'd probably give in instantly. Which I really couldn't afford to do, so I avoided him like the plague.

*****

Sunday:

Phil, I love you. I love you so much. Just please forgive me. All my love xxx

I love you too Jack. More than I should.

*****

Monday:

Baby I'm sorry. All my love xxx

It's not enough. An apology can't turn back time. An apology means nothing.

*****

Tuesday:

Did you know that before you I would never have told my parents about the fact that I'm bi? Had it been anyone else I would have kept the relationship secret or I wouldn't have done anything about it. But it was you, and I did tell them, and they accepted it and you'll never know how much I love you for giving me the courage to tell them. All my love xxx