Dear Future Self..

04/26/18

This new change, is scary. I'm really over the relationship with my ex, he left me and that's really it. We both decided it was for the best and we shouldn't really worry about it. Even though that's really all I can think about, not that I'm sad about it anymore, it's that he shared a place in my heart for so long that, that it's hard imagining a life without him. I know that sounds cliche but it's true.
     School is going to be a problem. The school I'm at now is barely a "B" school, and the one I'm going to be traveling to is like a freaking the #7-#50 for education. Do you realize how much of a change that is! Like come on! According to common core (which sucks I hate it with all the passion I can come up with in my body) I am barely making grade level, which makes me look really uneducated, me going into this school could honestly change my life.
     Another really hard thing I'm worried about is making friends. Like not having friends is ok, I used to it, but I would like to have at least one, like I do now. My best friend, not sure if she'd want me to give out her name so I'm going to call her Bug, she's really all I have. I don't really see a life without her either. I imagined us shopping at hot topic together or possibly trying to flirt with guys but both our awkwardness would collide and make the guys run away from us, ya that kind of friendship.
     How can you get your words out without sounding like a hot mess? Ok, so one day I was dared to go ask for this guys number and I wasn't really complaining because for one, he was hot, and two, why not you know? So he's across the street, packing up coolers because we were at a parade. And I walk up to him, and trip on my shoelace, oh man did I look like an idiot. But I somehow brush it off and walk on to him.
     When I get to him I'm like, "Hey, um, my names , uh, um "~_~_~" what's yours uh um."
     I couldn't even talk to the guy, and I believe he gave me his number only because he felt bad. But hey, my confidence level shot up and I felt like a new girl, gal, female, i don't even know anymore.
     So at this point, I don't care if anyone reads this, and if you are, these are real accounts. I would never lie to make it more interesting. This is for my future self as you see in the title. I want this for my college or mom self so I can go back and look at my younger self and laugh.
     I'm giving my future self all the memories I have in this little brain of mine.
     And also, sorry, if you're interested in reading any further, for the late updates, these last couple weeks of school have been stressful, finals and all.
     And I will try not to give too much information about anyone I talk about, including myself,(personal info such as names, ages, locations, whereabouts, etc.), because I don't want my friends (just Bug really) to read them and go,"uh you better edit and take my name out!" In a really annoyed way because, I need her just as much as she needs me.
     So, to end this, I'll talk to you later future self, see you tomorrow. Bye!!!