The Ten Year First Date

The Invite

Saturday came around quicker than expected. And Saturday meant quality time with Josh and Ella. I had promised that I would take them to see Santa in the Grotto at Hamleys. Whether this was a good idea or not was another story, but it was a fantastic excuse to spend a few, fun-filled hours with my two favourite mini humans. As we made our way into the centre of London, Josh was still extremely vocal about the Tube ride.

'Mum always makes us go on the bus. She doesn't like the Tube.' he said, munching on a cookie as we walked down Regent Street. Ella agreed with a nod.

'Yeah, something about the dark.' she added.

'The reason your mum doesn't like the Tube is that she's afraid of the dark hun.' I explained, knowing full well Imogen actually suffered from Claustrophobia and had done since she was a kid. It was easier to tell a six-year-old that their mother was just only afraid of the dark rather than explain the psychology behind it.

'I personally think it's wimpy.' Ella said, taking a bite out of the bagel I had just bought her. 'I'm mean, I'm only six, and I go to sleep without the light on.'

'That's because you are a brave girl, my angel.' I smiled. 'Ok, eat up sunshine, we are almost there.'

'Mum says I shouldn't eat quickly, it's bad for the digestive system.' Ella informed me, as she continued to chew slowly. Yep, she was turning into her mother!

'Will you hurry up you stupid bum head, we will be late. Santa has other plans you know.'

'Josh, I don't want this turning into a fight. Let your sister finish, and then we will go in.' Josh thankfully didn't say any more, just folded his arms and huffed loudly. Ella seemed to be deliberately taking her time, as she chewed with precision and swallowed slowly. The smug grin on her face sent me sailing back to my childhood when Imogen would do precisely the same. It was only when Ella realised that we were actually standing outside the scared toy shop did she start stuffing the bagel in her mouth with wilful abandonment.

'All done!' she said, opening her mouth and hands to show no traces of bread or cheese.

'Good girl.' I said, taking both her hand and Josh's, albeit under protest from my nephew. 'Let's go inside shall we?'

'Yeah!' chorused the twins, as we entered through a sea of snowflakes and bubbles into a toy paradise.

Paradise quickly turned into utter Hell an hour later when Ella and Josh decided that they wanted to go to different sections of the store and would not compromise on anything. Even after the offer of a massive burger at the Burger King followed by all the Ice Cream that they could eat, they were still arguing. I could feel the embarrassment starting to burn across my cheeks as I tried my best to separate the warring twins before they knocked the train set display over.

'Come on you two, let's calm it down ok?' I begged mercilessly, as I tried to stop Ella grabbing a clump of Josh's hair, while he tried to rip her pigtails from her scalp.

'He started it!' my niece screamed at full ear-piercing volume. I found myself apologising to William Hamley for causing chaos in the middle of the building that had been his life's work.

'No I didn't, you jumped up Barbie Doll!' Josh snapped back, once again going for the pigtails. 'I want to go and look at the Transformers!'

'Well, I want to look at the Bratz!'

'You are a Bratz!'

'Ok!' I intervened, in fear of my arms being broken in several places. 'How about we go and look at the games downstairs first?' Unfortunately, that went down like a lead balloon. A lead balloon which contained a nuclear bomb!