Music and Lyrics (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 46

The next day was agonizingly long. I sent the boys to my house because they couldn't see Harry since it was only family. I asked them to take care of Mason and finish up the things in the nursery. My parents had gone home to take care of my sisters but they were going to be back later tonight.

Anne and I had stayed by Harry's side for most of yesterday. She went home around 1 am and I stayed. I couldn't leave him... As I sat by his side listening to the steady beeping of the machine I wrote a song because I couldn't sleep. I finished it and when I was done I just placed it down and tried not to cry as I thought about the words in the song.

I wondered if this would be my life... Harry gone and me spending my time trying not to cry. I was going to have two children who needed me to be strong. I still had Harry who needed me to be strong. 

I don't remember when I moved into the waiting room, but I was shaken awake by my dad. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep.

"What time is it?" I asked, looking over at my parents.

"It's about 5pm." My mum said.

I looked around and saw that the boys, Anne, Robin and Gemma were also in the waiting room.

"I slept all day?!" I sat up looking to Harry's door.

"The doctor is in there now Lou." My dad said.

I nodded my head and waited for the doctor to come out. When he did a few minutes later he a huffed out a puff of air before walking towards us.

"How is he?" I asked, standing up.

"He's still in a coma... His blood pressure is dropping. We changed the bandages on his head and we'll see how he is in about an hour. I suggest you all go home for a little bit and try to collect yourselves."

I looked to the ground and shook my head as I started pacing the floor. How was it possible for someone to feel so hurt like this? I kept asking myself the same question... Why was this happening to me?

I pushed passed the doctor and walked towards Harry's room.

"Louis!" I heard my dad yell. Not out of anger, but worry.

I didn't care, I needed to be in there with him. I opened the door and saw Harry laying there still in his lifeless form. I slowly walked towards him and sat down next to him on the chair.

I grabbed his hand and started stoking it softly with my thumb. I needed to talk to him, I just wanted to hear is voice.

"Harry..." It barely came out as a whisper as I tried to contain myself.

"I... I don't know if you can hear me, but I just want to tell you... How much I love you." I felt tears coming as I spoke. "You're strong Harry... So strong. And I know you can make it out of this, because I know you. You're a fighter and your life is worth something to fight for... I can't do this without you Harry. I can't have a house and a dog and a family without you by my side. I can't be me without you by my side... You remember when we were at your mum's house and you shook me awake because I was screaming in my sleep?... That dream I had was kind of like this. You were hurt and the doctors couldn't save you..."

Soft tears started rolling down my cheeks and I willed them to stop.

"Harry." I breathed. "You brought so much when you came into my life... You made it so I wasn't afraid anymore. You brought love, and adventure into my life and I wanted to spend the rest of our lives proving to you just how much I love you. The thing about you though is that I didn't need to prove it. You know how much I love you, and that's why you need to fight. Our love is something that is worth fighting for. The life we are going to have together with our kids, and Mason that's the life you fight for Harry... I can't be me without you... You know before I met you I used to sing alone.... And my life was so lonely, but when you came into my life you turned everything around" I tried to keep myself together as tears rolled down my face. I combed my fingers through my hair as I didn't know what to do with myself. "I couldn't sleep the other night so I wrote a song... And I hope it's the last song I'll ever have to sing without you..."