The magnificence of you

Chapter twelve - A flannelette sheet type of girl

"Xan....?" I call out sleepy and sick.
My hands come up empty in their search, nothing but a cold pillow beside me. Meatball meows quietly and nudges my head, great... my cat feels sorry for me.

The sky is bright blue making my puffy eyes squint in the light, couldn't it be dark and grey today?
Couldn't the world just take a moment to mourn the loss of my only friend?

I want to hide under the covers and forget about work, I want to forget everything but then I remember I'm an independent woman and I independently need to handle my shit.
Tink is counting on me to provide an income and place of employment, I have customers depending on me to fulfil their orders and today marks the start of our competition to gain a new employee.
I shower and dress and inhale two cups of coffee, I pay too much attention to my hair and I apply more makeup than I normally would.

I just don't feel like being me today.

"This is like a thousand times more comfortable than the subway, a real seat without chewing gum stuck to it, heating... and the best part, if I'm late to work the boss can't complain" Tink grins playing with the stereo in my car.
"Yeah but she can still make you walk, pick a station already" I grumble grouchy.
"Not a Monday person are you?" She laughs
"Not this one"
"Forget about him, it was what? Two weeks? Another two weeks and you'll be like Alexander who?"
"Yeah, I guess" I mumble.

It couldn't only have been two weeks, is that all it was, really? How did he get so deep in my bones?

Well you know what they say, you can make or break a habit in two weeks.

Work is busy and I'm grateful, Tink and I get to work recreating the five entries into the competition to get them ready for sale. Already the internet have their favourites and two are clearly standing in front with multiple sales orders.
I let the buzz get me excited, maybe today won't be so bad after all.... at least I can walk properly again today.

We have a wedding to plan and the bridal appointment is after lunch, I hide in my office drawing up sketches and I put together a mock up bouquet. Tink has switched me to herbal tea after my fourth cup of coffee, I think that maybe the caffeine and the stress are working up an ulcer.

I keep my mind busy but still my eyes drift back to my silent phone on my desk, he has to call at some stage right? I mean he's got a bunch of crap at my house he's going to want back.
A few tee shirts, a work uniform and underwear, his watch and some toiletries. Nothing essential but the watch looks old, I'm hoping it's a sentimental gift that can't be replaced because then he's going to have to speak to me.

I just need to know why?
If I knew what I did maybe I could fix this, fix us.

Thankfully the day passes without disaster, the bride is happy and Tink didn't strangle me to death. Business is good, I should be happy.

"Just a few things to get us through... candy, chips, chocolate and a few bottles of red wine.  You just leave this break up to me" Tink tells me pulling me into the supermarket on the way home.
"Junk food yes, wine no. I'm still hungover from the weekend, and trust me things could get messy if I drink right now. I'm talking tears and snot and the whole emotional drunk dial situation" I tell her with a grimace but it's not like he'll answer.
"That's definitely not cute, let's stick to hot chocolate instead" she agrees and takes a basket and begins filling it up.

I think maybe Tink and I could be great friends, she cares about things, about people. I watch her laugh and smile stalking to strangers about their choice of candy, her blue eyes sparkle and her cheeks glow, the short bob of hair shines blue under the florescent lights.
She's small but has so much life, so much energy.