I'm not your first kiss (but you'll be taking mine) [JIKOOK] // COMPLETED

For you

It's been a month or so since the Seoyun incident. It's a relatively warm November, just the kind of weather Jimin likes. Jungkook has been following the smaller everywhere he possibly could, holding his hand, and occasionally hugging him from behind. The sudden, familiar closeness makes Jimin's heart flutter. It's bad, right? It's raising hope in him.

They still haven't talked, at least in a way that would make Jungkook satisfied.

The two of them are on their way toward Jimin's place (Jungkook has insisted on walking the elder home every day) when the taller grabs the redhead's hand, stopping them on the side of the road. Jimin's about to ask him what's wrong but the expression on Jungkook's face makes him close his mouth.

"You don't have to say anything, hyungie, but I have to get this out of my chest," the younger says, taking a hold of both of Jimin's small hands. "I can't keep bottling everything up, I'm sorry."

Jimin watches Jungkook with curious eyes, teeth gnawing his bottom lip. The younger is looking down at their joined hands, an adorable pout making his bottom lip jut out. It's his look of deep thought. The sight makes a small smile tug on Jimin's lips.

Jungkook takes in a deep breath before raising his gaze to meet with his hyung's. It's now or never, he thinks.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry when I distanced myself in middle school. I knew you were going to be hurt, but I couldn't help it. To put it in the most simple way I can, I was scared. Because something started happening to me whenever I was around you. Unnecessary feelings began bubbling up and I wasn't able to stop it. I thought that maybe being away from you would make it go away, but it just hurt more. I've always loved being around you. I've always loved you..." Jungkook quiets down, eyes falling on their hands again. Jimin doesn't realize he's holding his breath until he becomes dizzy. So, he lets out a shaky breath as he waits for his dongsaeng to continue. Their hands are clammy.

"I couldn't stay away from you, I needed you in my life, so I hung around you again. I'm not sure if you noticed, but there was rarely just the two of us. I was scared I'd do something stupid, so there had to be someone else, too." The younger bites the inside of his cheek. "Do you remember when you started first grade and how we fought that day? I was jealous. Jealous that you wouldn't only be spending time with me, but others too. I don't remember much but I can vividly feel the pain when you said you wanted to go to school, it felt like a rejection. And your love's the only thing I need in my life." Jungkook smiles quickly, turning his head away for a second to keep the tears out of his eyes. "And then... Seoyun."

Jimin gulps, painful memories hitting him like a train. The things she said and did are still a bit of an open wound. He also looks down, not willing to show the younger his glossy eyes. Jungkook sighs.

"The only reason I agreed when she asked me out was that maybe all those thoughts of you would leave my head. I didn't feel anything for her. At first, I tried to, I tried to be excited and happy, but I couldn't. I couldn't get you out of my mind." Jungkook's eyes are on Jimin's again, staring at him right to the core. There's a sudden serious look on the younger's face. "You should've told me when she started abusing you. And don't! Don't argue with me about this. You really should have, hyungie." The boy's tone is so gentle and warm Jimin thinks his heart is melting. The blond takes a step closer and pulls him into a hug.

"I'm sorry I neglected you, I'm sorry I left you alone, I'm sorry I acted like an asshole, I'm sorry I hurt you. I love you."

Jimin feels like he just died and was resurrected. His head is exploding, as well as his heart.

"L-love...?" he stutters, legs so weak he'd fall down if Jungkook wouldn't hold him up.

"Yes, hyungie, I really do. I love you so much. I'm sorry."