Your Stories

Story 2

I felt insecure of my body in my teenage years, because of many factors, Ilike my subjective inner thoughts of my appearance and the unintentional appearances of others, and due to companies & the influence of it like commercials, & billboards of models who are portrayed unrealistically, where even the models say that they dont look like themselves. And because that I was bullied at school. We live in a western culture where body image is becoming more important through that.

I used to compare myself to everyone who I thought had "the ideal look" because of it, I went into a negative spiral where I went to extreme measures to obtain my ideal body image and where I suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts. I went into rehab. I realized the consequences of it and the effects that it brought upon my parents, they were worried sick about me.

Only my parents visited me in rehab, because they're the only family I have. The rest of them, didn't bothered or didn't know what had happened to me, because there was absolutely no to limited contact within my father's side of the family. They had only called me ONCE, of how I was doing, but they didn't visited me in rehab and have disclosure with me and I wanted that. I wished that I had a close family where I can talk to, and where they're supportive and loving towards me. I wanted to feel close to someone, to talk about my inner demons, without any judgement and prejudices. I wanted to feel loved.

Throughout that time, the doctors treated me in rehab, and that ended up not so triumphantly. In the end of the treatment and of my stay in rehab. I had discovered that I have a light form of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) I didn't know that and neither do my parents. Because I socialized with other people like any other human being. I also have discovered that I had an IQ of 82!

I was totally flabbergasted! And also that was a huge burden upon me, because it was so out of the blue and a matter of fact that I had it, it was written black on white. I felt very inferior towards my family, friends & other people in general.

After a while, I started to think of it and one sentence got stuck in my head; "We all go through things, I'm not alone in this." I generalized myself in a situation where most of people can relate to it, and transferred that into something positive.

Because of that, I somehow got myself determined to have a certain courage within me and say to myself: "Fuck this shit! Screw it! From now on, I am going to be authentically myself without the obstruction of anyone's judgment and prejudice!"

From that moment I felt happier and more positive throughout my whole life. With positive outcomes! This isn't just a story about embracing your body. This is a story about embracing of who you are and being authentically yourself!

It's true, we all go through life with things, problems and/or obstacles, but don't let those obstructions tear you apart or consume you. Whatever demon you're fighting with, within you, you can conquer this! Remember that you are not alone in this!

Embrace yourself! Love is always within you, allow yourself to feel your own love! I am love! You are love! We are love!

That's my story.