Jersey

two

Grayson drove the tour bus back to the hotel, awaited by his bus driver, Mike, and girlfriend Lily. As he parked, they both piled in.
"Hi, hello, where'd you go?" Lily asked confused stepping on. Ellie was in the back, using the bathroom, not even aware that anyone else was on.
Grayson stepped out of the drivers seat, kissing her cheek, "It's Jersey, baby. I couldn't just sleep through it."
"Oh my g- did you sleep at all?" Lily asked, wide eyed.
Grayson now rolled his eyes as he realized she was going into full mom mode.
"No." He mumbled underneath his breath.
Lily heavily sighed. Without Gabby being there to keep him on track and head in the game, she made it her job to.
"You have a show today Grayson. You have to sleep, and you have rehearsals in four hours. What were you thinking?" She exclaimed.
Ellie slowly creeped out from the back, making herself visible.
Lily turned to her side, seeing Ellie.
She was also familiar with her. Before they'd started dating, Grayson would tell her about his life back in jersey, which mostly consisted of Ellie.
Lily didn't care for their friendship, all she remembered was that she was his former girlfriend before her. And by the way he talked about her in the earlier year- she didn't trust her at all.
"Sorry. That was my fault." Ellie responded, taking full blame.
Lily turned to Grayson with a fake, plastered smile upon her face, "Oh. You brought something back."
"Ellie." She introduced, walking closer to her as she held her hand out.
Lily turned to her with a small smile, trying not to show her discomfort, "I know who you are."
"Oh." Ellie said, pulling her hand back, "Cool- then."
Grayson felt the tension, knowing he did not think this through nearly as much as he should've.
"Yeah, Lily you've heard about Ellie." Grayson chimed in, "She's gonna be joining us for the rest of the tour."
Lily scrunched her nose. She was getting off in two hours.
"Well- me." He corrected, noticing her change of attitude. Ellie stood awkwardly in the middle of them, praying for someone to break the silence.
Lily let out a heavy breath, "So, that means neither of you got any sleep. You should probably rest now, don't you think? Beds, now."
Ellie stared to her in confusion, wondering why she directed her to bed too.
"Um- okay." Ellie said, slowly walking to the back, leaving Grayson and Lily to be alone.
"You didn't tell me you were going to see her." Lily immediately shot as Ellie was out of hearing distance.
"It all just happened." Grayson explained, "You know how much she means to me- why are you surprised?"
"What i know, is that you were once in love with her." Lily fought back, "Grayson- what's going on in your brain right now? Bringing your ex- girlfriend on tour with you? Do you even what the critics will say?"
"Lily, she's my best friend." Grayson fought back.
Despite their history, through whatever she'd always have the title of being his best friend. She was his best friend long before they started dating, and she'd be his best friend long after.
Lily on the other hand, didn't understand that. She was self-conscious, and wasn't one to listen to stories anyone told her. She believed what she did, and she didn't want to hear otherwise.
"I'm sorry Grayson but i don't trust her. I don't trust you guys together." She said bluntly, flaring her arms around.
Grayson didn't know what way to convince her. He was never one to cheat, nevertheless hurt her intentionally.
"Baby." He said grabbing her hand, "We've been together long enough for you to trust me."
"You can't blame me for being scared." She said removing her hand from his, "I love you, and i can't bare even the slightest thought that i might loose you to- jersey girl."
This was something Lily had feared in secret. Ellie coming back and taking Grayson away. They'd bond over jersey, reminisce the old times, and he'd realize she was what he wanted. The problem wasn't that it was hard for her to find love, the problem was she hated feeling like she wasn't enough.
Grayson knew about her insecurities, and he respected them with everything he had.
"You do not have to worry about Ellie." He assured, "Sure, we have more history but that doesn't change our now. You're my girlfriend, you're the one I'm in love with right now. You have nothing to be scared about."
Although Lily was still very worried, she trusted Grayson. She lightly sighed, kissing his lips, "Get some rest, babe."
Ellie was already in the bed, top bunk. She was knocked out. The only thing heard from the bedroom was her soft snores.
Lily and Grayson entered and let out small, faint laughs.
"Someone was tired." Lily whispered.
Grayson got into the lower bunk, patting a spot beside him, "Any chance you're tired too?"
Lily smiled, getting in beside him. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer, "I love you, baby."
"I love you too." Lily said, closing her eyes.
This moment reassured her enough to hold her over for a while. Grayson truly was a good guy. Despite everything she'd felt, one thing she knew for sure was that he did care about her.
Mike started the route to New York, playing soft music that could be heard throughout the entire bus.
Ellie and Grayson stayed asleep through it all, but Lily woke up within the hour. She started to pack her things, since she'd be getting off very soon. She went to the front of the bus accompanying Mike who was a man of very few words.
He looked to her in the rear view mirror and smiled, "Your stop is in about thirty minutes."
She nodded staring out the window, "Keep an eye on them for me?" She asked.
He sighed, "I will but, there's not gonna be anything to look at. She's his past, you're his future."
Lily wanted to believe that but she couldn't. She might've been his past, but as of now, she was going to be in more of his future than she was.
As Mike pulled up to her house in New York, she walked to the back and sat beside a sleeping Grayson.
"See you soon, baby." She whispered, placing a soft kiss on his head. She hated to leave him- more now that he was with Ellie. She stood up, looking over to Ellie who had one foot dangling off the side of the bed. Her mouth open with a spot of drool on her pillow. The only thing Lily could think of was, 'good luck cuddling with her'. She laughed at the thought of it then took her bags off the bus.
"Bye, Mike. Thanks for everything." She said, exiting the bus. Mike waved her goodbye, then the bus became distant. She sighed, only hoping after all this, she'd still have Grayson.
Back on the tour bus, Mike pulled up outside of the studio, letting Grayson and Ellie continue their sleep. Grayson wouldn't have to be up for another few hours. The time was now eight thirty, and Ellie, being the rough sleeper she was started to twist and turn, close to the edge. When Mike pulled in, the bus jerked to a stop, and Ellie flew off the edge, hitting the floor roughly.
She groaned, letting out a pained yell.
Grayson heard, immediately waking up turning to his side seeing Ellie laying on the floor.
"Ellie." He said, in a raspy tone, getting out of bed running to her side. Mike ran to the back looking at her frail body struggle to move.
"Don't mind me." She said, pushing her weight to sit up, "I'm fine."
"Sorry, sweet pea." Mike said, "You're supposed to put your railings up to prevent falling off the edge."
Ellie looked up, intrigued, "That's what those things are?"
Grayson laughed, helping her up, "That was a pretty hard fall. You okay?"
She nodded, standing on her two feet, "Yeah. Isn't the first time I've fell of a bed."
Memories rolled in from when Ellie slept over. They'd had sex the night before for the first time, and when Ethan, Grayson's brother, burst through the door, she fell over hitting her head on the dresser. He looked at her forehead, seeing it was covered by a piece of her hair. This gesture caught Ellie off guard, as he placed it behind her ear. She looked up at him, confused as to what he was doing.
The scar was still there, present. It was faded but you could tell it was there. He smiled at her, "There's proof of how clumsy you are."
She then remembered what he was talking about. She laughed, "Yeah, proof that I'm a walking embarrassment."
Grayson rolled his eyes, "You can take the bottom bunk. It's a lot safer down here for you."
"I'm not even tired anymore." Ellie commented, taking a seat on his bunk, "I'm running on three hours of sleep, yet i feel amazing."
Grayson smiled, "I've got a few hours before i have to be in the studio. Let's get some breakfast."
Mike then chimed in, "I'll go out and get you two some breakfast. You two stay put."
"You're not my personal assistance mike, we can get food ourselves." Grayson laughed. Ellie smiled.
Mike understood that, but he knew Grayson couldn't go out alone with Ellie. The paparazzi would come within minutes, and rumors would start up in an instant. That wouldn't be good for anyone, especially for Lily.
"Mr. Rockstar, you seem to forget you're famous. You can't be seen with a girl who's not- Lily." Mike explained.
Ellie's expression dropped. She looked to Grayson, who seemed to understand.
"Right." He said, letting out a heavy sigh.
Ellie on the other hand, didn't understand all that much. She understood rumors would be started, but did that mean he had to hide her? Would she have to hide the entire trip?
"Wait so- i can't be seen at all?" Ellie asked, turning to Grayson with sad eyes.
Honestly, Grayson didn't know.
"You can. Just not with only me, y'know? Word spreads fast." He clarified, trying to clear it  up.
Ellie nodded, "Right. I forgot people care about your life."
Grayson laughed, happy that she still managed to be herself. He knows it's not exactly comforting knowing you have to hide. But Ellie knew if he had another option, he'd take it.
Mike happily went out to get them breakfast, while Grayson and Ellie stayed in the bus looking through some of Grayson's unreleased songs.
"This ones so good." Ellie complimented turning up the volume, "Why didn't you release it?"
"I wasn't really feeling it." Grayson answered honestly, "It didn't seem like me."
Ellie was completely in love with it.
"Grayson this is gold. If you trash songs like these- call me a dumpster diver because i love this."
Grayson smiled as she started moving side to side to the beat. She waved her arms around really feeling the music. Ellie was always comfortable with him, and Grayson loved how she was always herself. After all this time- you'd think you need a little time to get re-associated. But not them.
"Okay, ballerina." Grayson said stopping the track, "I think you've had enough fun."
"One more." She said reaching for a track towards the bottom. Her eyes squinted as she came face to face with the name plastered on the front- 'Jersey'.
Grayson hadn't noticed what she picked up until she put it into the CD player, and he heard the beat. Grayson immediately stopped it. Ellie jumped at his reaction, "What's wrong with you?"
"I don't like that song." He lied, taking it out of the CD player. Ellie rolled her eyes, "Come on, stop it." She said, leaning over to grab it, but Grayson just pulled it farther away.
"No, really." Grayson said, pushing her away, "This one really wasn't supposed to be released- nevertheless heard by anyone else."
That comment didn't stop Ellie from reaching for it again. Grayson stood up with the CD in his hand, breaking it into two. He knew if he didn't, she'd listen to it. Wether it be by sneaking behind his back, or against his will. Ellie stood up staring at him in awe, "What the fuck?" She exclaimed.
"There. Now there's no more CD."
Ellie stared to him in confusion. What was so bad about that track that he had to break it? Make it so she could never listen to it?
"Are you okay?" She asked, snatching the two pieces from his hand, "Is it a bad track or did you just not want me to listen to it?"
Grayson shook his head, "It was a bad track."
"Liar." She snarked, throwing the CD onto the couch, "Why couldn't i listen to it?"
Grayson wasn't in the mood to be questioned. Especially because he didn't want her to know why- at least not now. But due to his immediate actions, she will never be able to, even when he's ready.
Seconds after, Mike entered with bags of food.
"Yum, foods here." Grayson announced, eager to change the subject.
Ellie just stared at him. She wanted to know what the CD was about. It was the only thing on her mind. They sat in silence eating, Ellie's mind coming up with the craziest scenarios as to why Grayson did that to the track.
"Ellie." Grayson said, snapping her out of her trance.
She turned to him, "What?"
By her tone, Grayson knew he had to fix this, before it got out of hand. After all, this was only her first day on the trip.
"I didn't break the CD because it was a bad track. I didn't want you to hear it- more specifically what the lyrics were." He explained.
Ellie shrugged, "Why? What was so bad about me hearing it?"
Grayson sighed, "That was the first song i wrote when i got to LA. It was the first song i ever wrote- about you."
Ellie's face reddened, "You wrote a song about me?" She uttered.
"Yeah." He answered, "And it was really corny, and cheesy, and I only kept it because it was a reminder of you and what we had."
Ellie wasn't comprehending, "Then why did you break it?"
"It was an immediate action. I wasn't thinking." He responded, "I'm sorry, Ellie."
Ellie nodded, starting to understand a little more. But the one thing Ellie didn't understand was why she couldn't listen to it. I mean, it was about her. Shouldn't she listen to it? She spent months listening to songs Grayson wrote about Lily, yet when it comes to her he's ashamed?
Almost instantly, it clicked.
He wrote that song when he was fresh out of jersey. It's been two years since then, his feelings have changed. So, in a way, Grayson thought of it as, why keep a CD about feelings of the past? What's the point in getting her hopes up when he doesn't-. Ellie tried to stop her thought process, but nothing could stop the words from slipping her mouth.
"Showing your ex-girlfriend a song you made about her, while you have a girlfriend is wrong." She concluded, looking over to Grayson, "I get it."
Grayson sighed. He knew Ellie better than anyone, and she most definitely did not get it. Grayson set his plate down, giving Ellie his full attention, "That track is just something of the past. No need to bring it up again."
Ellie was hurt, and she couldn't hide it. It was hard but she had to pretend she was fine. Ellie was so desperate for love and companionship since Grayson left. Guy after guy, they all just didn't make her feel the way Grayson did. She was holding onto him for the longest time, and that's part of the reason she could never commit. Even after Grayson had found Lily, Ellie hated it. She thought, 'wow, if he can move on then why can't i?'. Sadly, she beat herself about it. About being too attached, being so into him that it consumed such a big part of her life. She didn't know what she expected coming on this trip with him, she was just happy he asked. But- not even twenty four hours in and she's already loathing herself.
"Well, I'm gonna go get a start on my book." She said, putting her plate into the garbage, "You can listen to all your unreleased songs- by yourself. Promise i won't eavesdrop."
Writing was her only escape, and she really needed that right now.
Grayson watched her trot away and sighed. He didn't mean to make her feel unwanted, but he couldn't make her feel like she was something more than just- his best friend. He couldn't do that to Lily. Any feelings he may or may not still have for her had to be buried and locked away.
Ellie stayed locked away in the back for hours. Grayson didn't want to bother her because he knew writing was what made her feel more herself, like singing and music did for him.
They stayed apart for a long time, so long that it was now time for him to go to rehearsals. He knocked on the door, slowly opening it.
Ellie looked up and smiled, "Hey."
"You've been locked away for a long time. You okay?"
She nodded, "I'm fine."
He walked in closer stuffing his hands into his pocket, "Are we okay?"
Ellie sadly smiled, stepping down from the bunk to stand in front of him, "We're always okay."
He opened his arms for a hug which Ellie gladly excepted.
"Why is your chest so hard?" She mumbled, releasing the hug, "Like a rock."
"Can you go just one day without criticizing me?" Grayson asked with a small laugh.
"If I did that, i wouldn't be your best friend now would I?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips.
"Wow, you've got a point." Grayson said, agreeing with her, "Anyways, I've gotta head to the studio. I'll be back in a few hours, then we can go to the concert."
"Oh, I'm allowed to go to that?" Ellie asked fake surprised.
"Funny." Grayson said walking out, "I'll see you later."
Ellie smiled as she watched him exit the tour bus. She honestly couldn't stay mad at him. He was just such a good guy.