LOUISIANA SKY (COMPLETE)

19. Change

DALLAS POV

Sky is just staring at me, her eyes wide with horror and confusion.

This wasn't how this was supposed to go. I wasn't supposed to tell you this way.

But it was too late and now here we were. Just minutes ago what we had was perfect and now it was about to be marred by a past I couldn't escape.

I had a choice when I met her. I had a choice to continue down a path that I knew would only end in heartache or I had the choice to walk away. And I know that it would've been the smartest choice to walk away. We would've never crossed paths and we'd go on living our lives blissfully unaware of the what-ifs we could've had.

But even after everything I've been through and despite my own insecurities, I chose the heartache. And even now, I'd do it all over again.

Because I loved Sky Hammond.

And even after all this. Even after when she tells me she hates me.

I'll still love her.

And that love for her is the only reason why I bared my soul now when it was still an open wound.

I reach over to the nightstand next to me and open the drawer, pulling out the self help books from earlier. I gather together my sobriety chips in my palm and drop everything onto the bed.

"What's all this?", she asks. Her expression now questioning.

"These are the self help books I read at night, and these", I explain, passing her a chip. "are my sobriety chips".

Deep breath.

"Sobriety chips?", her hands shake a little as she fidgets the chip in her fingers.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic, Sky", I sigh. "I've been sober for six years. You get a chip every year you've been sober". Sam, the man you met at the diner, he's my sponsor... we meet often, kind of like a check up". I stop talking, searching her face for a reaction. She won't look at me. Instead, she's tracing the cover of the books beside her like she's trying to piece everything together.

"But, the beers...", she whispers, her eyes looking to me for an answer. "you always come to Devereux's".

"I may not drink, but my friends do. Most of them don't know about my recovery. I don't like pity and everyone walking on eggshells around me. I'm at the point in my sobriety where going to the bar doesn't bother me", I explain. I pick up the courage to sit down next to her on the bed.

The silence between us is damning.

Finally, she turns to me. "Dallas, I don't know what to say. This is a lot of information, I—"

"That's not all", I stop her. Her breath hitches as she realizes now that this could be worse.

Please don't hate me.

I ring my hands in my lap, unable to speak while looking at her. I lower my head and close my eyes to reopen the scars that haunt me.

"I started drinking socially at around 15 or 16. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I had a rough childhood or something traumatic happened to me to cause my drinking problem, but it was none of that. I was just bored with my life and needed some kind of fun release... and I found that I had more fun when I was drunk. But then it started getting out of control, I was drinking all the time. I was 18 and flunked out of high school", I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to force myself to continue. I can hear her breathing deepen like she's doing the best she can to listen.

"One day in the afternoon, I was drinking alone at my house when I ran out of liquor. The only store that would sell to underage kids was about a 15 minute drive from my house. So, like a fucking idiot, I take my car to get some more. I don't remember all of it because it happened so fast, but... they say I was speeding like crazy down a residential neighborhood and I ended up hitting a kid..." I bring myself to glance up at her, only to see shock plastered on her face. I've never once cried in front of anyone, but tears begin welling up in my eyes.

"A kid, Sky, a fucking kid, Jesus Christ", I sob. I was found guilty for vehicular manslaughter and made a plea deal for three years of time and then parole... that's how I got the job at Davie's, it's part of my program. But, Sky I'm sober now, I have been for years and—"

I'm panicking now. I knew the impact of my words would affect her, but it was unpredictable. Just watching her sit in silence crushed me. My heart strained as I waited for her to say something, anything.

***

SKY POV

I don't hear the rest of his words as my mind descends into a haze. I repeat his words in my head over and over, I can't even find it in me to move myself let alone console him. All I could do was picture was how it must've happened and then I start to feel a pang deep in my heart.

I begin thinking about the day I found out my own mother had been hit by a drunk driver and how angry I was that they'd taken her away from me. I thought about seeing him in court during his trial and how much I wanted to run over there and strangle him with my bare hands. I can suddenly hear my heartbeat in my ears and my skin grows hot as my blood boils beneath it.

I look over to see Dallas, sobbing mess. He was a puddle on the floor and a part of me wanted so desperately to just hold him and tell him it was okay. The part of me that loved him wanted to say that I forgave him, that his past didn't matter to me and we would work through this. And maybe it could have been in a different lifetime. But my past was my past and his was his, no amount of love would change that. No amount of love for him would let me push past this. I could feel my face turn to stone and a coldness washed over my emotions. Without saying a word, I get up and walk towards the door only for Dallas to grab my arm.

"Don't go, please", he begs me. "Don't leave."

I pull away from his grip and make my way to the front door. I try to fight the urge to turn around, but give in. I slowly turn to find that Dallas wasn't going to follow me out, like he almost felt he was deserving of this. I'd avoided change until I met him. My whole life changed because of him. But now, standing here, the both of us worlds apart... I wanted nothing more than to change my heart. I walk out the door and shut it behind me.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

You guysssss! I teared up writing this chapter! They were breaking my heart.

Dallas thinks Sky is only feeling this way because she think he's a monster but it's really because of her mother

😭😭😭😭

Do you think Sky has a right to be upset?

How do you feel now that Dallas finally reveals his past!?