Mei-Akatsuki Fanfiction

4.

"How the hell do you make a fucking birthday cake?" Hidan scratched the back of his head as he looked at the recipe book that was lodged in the back of Pein's bookcase. Why that man had it there was just another mystery.

"Step One....gather all of your ingredients—" he squinted at the flour and eggs that he brought with them. The recipe filled three pages. "Too much fucking reading—" he banged his head on the table, sighing as Tobi waltzed past the kitchen before stopping in front of Hidan.

"What is Hidan-senpai doing?" Tobi questioned, spinning around.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing, asshole?" Hidan snapped, "I'm making a fucking cake!"

"Senpai bakes?"

"Senpai will tear your head off your shoulders if you don't fuck off, Tobi!"

"You put eggshells in the batter....."

"So?"

"Tobi can bake!" He clapped his hands in enthusiasm, "Tobi can bake cake for Mei-Chan!"

"Like fuck I'm allowing you near an oven—"

"Just let the idiot do it, Hidan—" he heard Sasori's drawl, "you might be many things, but you're not a baker."

"Shut up, you wooden prick!"

Hidan sighed as he turned back to Tobi. "Fucking fine," he muttered, "just make sure it turns out alright or the brat's gonna be fucking disappointed."

Tobi cocked his head to the side. "Hidan cares a lot for Mei-Chan, doesn't he?"

"No he fucking doesn't!" Hidan's temper returned as he stalked out of the kitchen. Kisame had volunteered to take Mei out on a sparring session while they decorated the hideout. It was strange seeing criminal nin trying to make a birthday party for a little girl, but it was a bit heart warming to see. Perhaps, despite the fact that they were cold blooded killers, they still were human beings after all.

Mei was just one of those special cases.

That and the girl had some creepy ass powers.

Meanwhile, Deidara and Sasori were arguing on how to decorate the cave—Sasori muttering that bombs that exploded confetti were ridiculous and Deidara trying to beat him over the head with an explosive.

"Art is an explosion! She will have the best damn artistic party ever, un!"

"Art is eternity, brat! We are going to decorate with streamers and that's final!"

"She's my protège bomber!" Deidara argued, "I should be the one decorating!"

"Your artistic sense is shit, brat!"

"No, your artistic sense is shit!"

They continued to argue until they finally made a compromise on balloons if Deidara was allowed to pop them in one explosive moment while Mei blew out the candles. Meanwhile, Itachi and Konan went to do some shopping for gifts while Kakuzu followed close behind, his hand clutching coupons. He wasn't the most pleased with the birthday party, but he agreed to it nonetheless under the condition that he controlled the finances.

Meanwhile, Mei was practicing her jutsu with Kisame, who noticed how her stamina was improving. She managed to shrink an entire mountain before getting it back to size again. She grinned at him as Kisame looked up at the sky to see a crow croaking as it flew past. "Time to go back to the hideout," Kisame advised as Mei beamed and stuffed her kunai away before grabbing onto the man's hand, making him shift in surprise. He was always told that he looked frightening but Mei simply grabbed his hand as if it was nothing.

When she arrived, Mei was greeted with darkness and an empty room. She frowned. She couldn't detect any chakra signatures. "SURPRISE, BITCH!" She heard Hidan yell suddenly as he dropped from the ceiling and the rest of the Akatsuki popped out. Even Pein was there, stuffed into a birthday hat by Konan, his Rinnegan eyes begging for death from this embarrassment. The rest of the Akatsuki also sported birthday hats, looking absolutely ridiculous. But it was sort of adorable as well.

Tobi whirled in with the cake—looking surpassingly well made and iced beautifully.

The words: Happy Birthday Mei! were iced in green piping. She looked at the Akatsuki—some like Deidara had a wide grin on their face while others like Itachi and Kakuzu remained emo and silent. But they were there. As much as they hated being there, they were there. For her.

Mei felt a corner of her badass heart warm despite herself. "I...I didn't think you'd actually do it—" she murmured, feeling her eyes water for a moment. She sniffled as Hidan narrowed his eyes.

He looked at Tobi accusingly. "Did you put a fucking onion in the cake?"

"N.-n-nooo, Tobi is a good boy!" The orange masked man wailed fearfully.

"Don't make him cry, asshole!" Mei frowned, her former demeanor returning. Hidan frowned, about to say something rude but Konan punched him in the gut, making him keel over as the blue haired kunoichi smiled.

"Make a wish."

Mei approached the cake before she looked at the flickering candles. She looked back at the Akatsuki. The orphanage never did this for her. Yet this criminal organization did. She looked back at the cake. One wish.

She made it silently before with a puff of her cheeks, she prepared to blow upon it before freezing. "What is it?" Hidan asked, frowning.

"Tobi-San...." Mei trailed off warily, "why do the candles say dynamite on them?"

Deidara's eyes widened before he whipped his gaze towards Tobi. "You didn't take the candles from the right drawer, did you, un?!"

Tobi scratched his head. "Tobi is a good boy?" He tried.

"Shit, un!" Deidara screeched, "everyone take cover!"

  The cake suddenly exploded as fire spat across the cave, only being avoided as Pein absorbed the explosion before it blew them all up. The Akatsuki were left with cake dripping off their faces and Tobi lying facedown with a burnt birthday hat.

  "Well that was fun," Mei blinked.

   The rest of the Akatsuki internally face palmed.

******