Incubus

Chapter 10

You think you're lost, but you're not lost on your own. You're not alone 

~Unknown

As I woke up that morning in a sheen of sweat and with a sore throat, I expected a text or call from Hayden because of the disastrous date we'd been on. But when I checked my phone, I didn't have any new calls or text messages. Relief gripped me. Maybe with the terrible way things had turned out last night, he would finally give up and realize that I'm not someone you wanted to be around and that I definitely wasn't worth the trouble. That was the real reason why I was a college student and still hadn't ever been in a relationship before. But that morning, I didn't regret anything, in fact, I was rather proud of myself for never forcing a relationship. I would rather sit patiently and wait for the right person to come along. 

As I sat in bed, I noticed a bruise on my forearm and gently pressed my thumb into it. It hurt like a bitch and looked fresh. Maybe I'd hit my arm against something in my sleep while I was thrashing around because of my nightmare. 

My nightmare. 

I felt my breath leave me. I could almost relive the entire moment in the bedroom, it was so vivid and real. Tears pricked at my eyes, and I slammed my palms against the wall behind me. I had to get these dreams under control, I didn't want to be afraid every single night I fell asleep. It kept me awake well into the morning, and when I did finally find a moment of peace it would be interrupted by the same recurring dreams I've had since I could remember. I didn't want fear to control me anymore, and that was the reason I was crying because I knew that it would control me. Fear would always be there in the back of my mind, waiting for moments like these where I was weak, to remind me that I will never be free. That very fear would always come back, and there was no hope of controlling it.

I sighed, realizing how melodramatic I sounded. Angrily wiping the tears away, I wished that there was someone I could talk to, that I had a mother or father that I could call and share my problems with. I wished that I wouldn't feel so alone and scared. 

I got out of bed and marched to the kitchen to prepare myself a cup of coffee. While I waited, I placed my hands on the counter and bit the inside of my mouth while I thought. I took a deep breath, and before I knew it, I marched over to the phone and dialed a number I hadn't dialed in years.

A woman picked up almost immediately. "Dr. Praxton's office, how may I help you?"

"Hello, this is Corin Baxter, may I speak to Dr. Praxton?"

"Ms. Baxter?" The secretary sounded surprised. "We haven't heard from you in a while." 

"Can I please speak with Dr. Praxton? It's an emergency."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Baxter, but he's currently very busy and can't take any calls at the moment."

I closed my eyes and slowly counted to five. "Please, I need to talk to him about some... some issues that I've been having."

I heard the secretary sigh, and then say, "If I could put you on hold, for just a moment?" 

"Yes, of course." The secretary's voice disappeared only to be replaced by elevator music. I set the phone on speaker and finished making my breakfast. Five minutes later I was still on hold and was on the verge of hanging up the phone when I finally found a sign of life on the other end of the line.