Incubus

Chapter 28

I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me

for my own sake and for nothing else 

~John Keats

Weeks passed as I tried to forget my run-in with my parents and the details I'd learned about River from Emmalyn. I'd tried to get more information from Matthias once again, but he stayed adamant in protecting my brother from me. 

At work, my thoughts often preoccupied themselves with River, and why he chose to stay out of contact with me. I understood not wanting to have anything to do with our parents, but I never sunk to their level of judgment. I'd thought about calling the Atossa Genetics company and inquiring about my brother, but Emmalyn advised against it, insisting that when River was ready to talk to me again, he would. For right now, I needed to let him go. I knew she was right. 

Work at the cafe grew more and more cumbersome, and I couldn't stand the attitude of half of the customers that came in day to day. Olivia and Connor both noticed my worsening mood and tried to stay out of my way as much as they possibly could. 

As I got home that night, I noticed I had three unheard messages on my answering machine. I sat down on the couch and flipped through them, half asleep. 

"Hey, Corin," Hayden's deep voice crackled through. I sat up straighter and opened my eyes. "I know you've been busy these past few weeks, but I wanted to check in and make sure everything was fine... yeah, that's it."

I rolled my eyes as the machine beeped to indicate the end of the message. Hayden still had his awkward moments when it came to me; I knew relationships were foreign to him, they were for me as well. But he acted so robotic half the time that I wondered if normal human feeling was at all natural to him. 

I dialed his number and sighed when it went straight to voicemail. As I checked the time, I noticed that it was later in the evening; reaching Hayden at this time of night was almost always impossible. I didn't want to play phone tag with him more than we had already and decided that if he wanted to talk to me, he could call. I couldn't, however, shake that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I thought about how little I'd seen of Hayden since that encounter with my parents. He'd said then that he'd always be with me so I wouldn't have to go through anything alone, yet here I was in the living room of my apartment, alone and exhausted. Perhaps relationships weren't all they were cracked up to be. 

I guiltily shoved that thought down as I got ready for bed. I couldn't entirely blame him for the two of us not seeing each other. I had been busy and preoccupied with my family lately. My mind had been floating in a different world for weeks now, even cutting communication with Emmalyn and Matthias. 

"You are not a good friend," I said to my reflection in the mirror. "Or girlfriend. It's a wonder people put up with you."

---

The clock tower boomed out, the deafening ring of each hour shattered a window in the buildings around me; the glass rained down on me and sliced deep into my skin. I swept my hands over my head in a desperate attempt to shield myself from harm. Shards of glass knotted itself into my wild hair, and as I ran my fingers through it to rid it from the glass, I cut myself even more.

The last boom rang through the distance, and my head snapped up. Hayden lay ahead of me, unconscious. One of his arms lay splayed out to his side, his head bent at a crooked angle, facing away from me. As I ran up to him, I saw his eyes were closed as if he were in a peaceful slumber.