Incubus

Chapter 32

"Even now, with all hope lost, Romeo still did not turn to fight.

'Look at me!' he urged Giulietta, too focused on reviving her lifeless 

body to think of defending himself. 'Look at-' But a spear thrown from across the room struck

 him right between the shoulder blades, and he collapsed over the bed without another word, 

even in death unwilling to let go of Giulietta."

~Anne Fortier, "Juliet."

 The days seemed to go by in a blur. I didn't feel like myself, and I knew I certainly didn't look the part, either. Connor and Olivia noticed my changed mood and often took over for me at work when I seemed to move unusually slowly. My five-minute breaks outside increased to twice an hour and my days seemed to drag on torturously. 

During one of the evening shifts as the three of us were closing, Olivia placed her hand on my shoulder and told me it was all right if I went home early. 

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

She smiled and nodded. "We've got it covered. Don't worry about it, Corin. You look tired. Get some sleep."

I looked over at Connor who observed our exchange while wiping down a table. I smiled at him as I got my things and headed out the door. The night air felt refreshing from the warmer air inside the café, and I paused while I breathed it in deeply, slowly. Enjoying the peace. 

"Corin?"

The peace shattered like glass. I opened my eyes to see Hayden standing in front of me, his hands in his pant pockets. He had a dour look about him, and I shifted uncomfortably, wondering if I did as well. 

"What are you doing here?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, like a fish out of water. After a moment, he tried again. "I never gave up on you, Corin. I don't think I ever could. I just needed time to think about things. When I last saw you on the street I came to get you back but I... I got overwhelmed and pushed you away like I always do. I know what I've made horrible mistakes, but I need you to listen to me."

I shook my head feverishly. It was too late; I'd made my decision. 

"I can't do this. I hate feeling trapped inside a relationship, which is how I feel now. I'm tired, Hayden." I felt the tears in my eyes, heard my voice wobble as my throat started to choke up. 

Don't you dare cry. Not in front of him.

I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes to regain my composure. I didn't care if Hayden saw the way I felt, it was the reality. But I wouldn't have a complete breakdown in front of him. I didn't want to be that pathetic. 

"I feel like I'm the one trying in this relationship. You never confide in me about anything; I have to force every morsel of information out of you. How do you think that makes me feel? It's exhausting and I can't... I won't do it anymore. I don't care enough to do it anymore," I emphasized. 

There were only two times in my entire life that I had ever felt like this. One of those times would be today, as I faced Hayden and told him how I honestly felt about our relationship. The other time, was when I confronted my parents before I had decided to leave for good.