where the light is. // l.h. au

. f o u r .

"I'm attracted to things I can't define." -Raf Simons

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I can't ride the subway without my music.

My body jolted to the side a little as the car began its way through the snaking underground paths, and a sweet stream of The Arctic Monkey's new album filled my ears. I allowed my eyes to slowly shut as the floor beneath me vibrated softly against the metal tracks.

My phone buzzed twice in my palm and my eyes shot open. I sighed before bringing my phone face level and close to my tired eyes.

Emma's name flashed on the screen next to a green text icon.

Why the hell was Emma up at this hour texting me?

My eyebrows knitted together as I unlocked my phone and tapped the texting app.

"HE'S HOT WREN HOLY SHIT HE'S HOT."

"Who is? And why tf are you awake?"

Her reply was almost instant. "MY NEW NEIGHBOR. I HAVENT TALKED TO HIM YET BUT HE LOOKS OUR AGE. Scooooooooooooore."

She didn't answer the second question, but it was an easy guess she set her alarm extra early to do some creeping. Only Emma.

My hand found my face and I smiled a little as I gently massaged my left temple.The subway creaked to its 10th street stop and I rose out of my seat.

~

4 hours of dance and only a half day of work later, I found myself back on the subway, my earbuds warm in my ears and a familiar ache to get my tights and leotard off.

It was a Sunday so I only had a half shift at work. It was a tradition on half day Sundays that I went to Emma's and usually fell asleep on her couch for the night after an evening of Mac n cheese, netflix, and an occasional beer.

Soon enough, my body swayed to the side a bit as the car slid to stop. I was out the train and up the grimy stairs quickly and quietly, not making eye contact with anyone. That's something you learn when you've lived in New York alone for as long as I have; eye contact can be perceived in different ways to different people, and it's just too risky in a city with such a diversity as this one.

I walked until I reached my apartment building and I reached one hand up beside me to trace the lines in the bricks as I walked. I hummed Fluorescent Adolescent as I stepped through the door and up the stairs, only ripping out my earbuds when I reached Emma's doorway.

I knocked on it three times and within seconds I could hear her footsteps pad up to the door, a tiny pause to look through the peephole, and then the door swung open.

"Hiya." She said, turning away from the door and leaving it open for me to walk through. I stepped inside and closed the large greenish-black door, then walked further into the apartment, plopping down on the small leather sofa in her living room.

"Don't kill me please," she began, standing in her bedroom threshold, holding her hands together anxiously, "But I have a date tonight and I can't stay in with you..."

"Emmaaaaaaa." I groaned, my head falling back against the couch cushion.

"I know, I know," she giggled and walked closer to me, "buuuut it's not until 8 and that's not for 2 hours so I'll hang with you until then. I'll make it up to you with fresh Mac and cheese next Sunday, I promise."

I laughed and sighed. "Fine." Wait. "A date with who?"

She chuckled and tossed her long curly hair over her shoulder. "Not the next-door boy if that's what you're thinking. Just this new guy at work. He's cute I guess, he's good at flirting so I'll see where it takes me."