Mimik

Our First Fight?

We were driving toward the highway when I realized that in all my excitement in him calling me his boyfriend and, you know, me leaving the state for the first time with said boyfriend, we hadn't thought about how long it would take to get there.

"Ryan?"

"Yes?"

"We didn't think about this. We were just saying words and I have to be home before my mom gets there."

"What are you talking about? Arizona? Do you not want to go anymore?" He looks at me for a split second before returning his attention to the road. He seemed...sad? I don't—why would he be sad if I didn't want to go?

"No. N-no, of course, I still want to go. It's just—it could take up 12 hours to get there and I don't wanna die when I finally get home." He chuckles and strokes my hair. He's...relieved? I don't understand this boy.

"I thought...never mind. Uh, just text your mom and tell you're staying with a friend or something. We'll just take another day off school." He sounds so nonchalant about it. He's done this before, obviously, but I haven't. I mean he's missed weeks of school for skateboarding accidents and fights and most of the time just because he wants to. I'm surprised he's even graduating with us next year. 

"I've never taken a day off school before. And I don't think I'm gonna miss today just for some road trip. I don— I just don't know about this." I'm kind of lying. I do want to go and oh God do I want to go with him it's just that this would be our first real time away together and I'm nervous. I think I made him upset, though. He pulled over into a little ditch thing and shut off the engine. What did I just do?

"So...going somewhere with your boyfriend is just some road trip to you?" I didn't know he liked me that much. I honestly have no idea what's going on and would love to be in AP Calc right now.

"No. It's just that I've never missed a day of school before and I don't think it's worth missing for this." I most definitely was not making it better.

"Oh. Okay fine. I'll just take you home and you can go to school. Happy?" And then he starts the goddamn engine. It's over. I've ruined everything. GOD!! I'm such a fucking idiot. Choose your words more carefully next time. JESUS CHRIST ON A HOT DOG BUN. I have never fucked something up so quickly before. Let's try again. Breathe, think, THEN spew words.

"Oh, my God. Yeah, whatever just take me home." Not. The. Right. God. Damn. Mother. Fucking. Words.

He looks down at the steering wheel and then at the road. I really messed up because he won't look at me. What did I just do?