Random Thoughts

THOUGHT #2: Do Some of My Friends Secretly Hate Me?

Why do I feel coldness in the gaze of my friends when I greet them, just when I got the chance to finally meet them again? What did I do that made them act that way to me?

Just after our graduation and after we passed the board exam, me and my close college friends kinda go our separate ways to focus on finding a job and getting ready to enter the adult world while some of my friends are still in college due to some circumstances.

So eto ang siste, I have no problem with my high school/ college friends because we are inseparable kahit anong mangyari samin (except for a few) pero yung mga naging ka-close ko nung later years ko sa college, I felt na parang lumalayo loob nila sakin.

Una ko 'tong napansin when we visited our Alma Mater last December 2017. We happen to bump to each other, while I'm so pumped up and happy to see them, they are just casually greeting me na parang ordinary classmates lang kami. And that is not okay for me. Hoy! Hindi niyo ba ako namiss?! Gustong-gutso ko itanong sa kanila yun that moment but I decided not to, because I think I'm just being sensitive.

I overthink for the whole day and let the thought go away. Pagkatapos eto na naman. Yung tropa namin, yung mismong classmate namin since high school, yung taong naging close ko, ay bigla na lang nagparamdam sa akin ng cold treatment. And that is not okay. I hate it the most when the person you trust just turn away from you with no reason at all. Hindi ko alam kung may nagawa ako pero how am I supposed to know kung hindi niya sasabihin. But I can't think of anything na ginawa ko para magalit siya sa akin.

There will be two outcome of this scenario. Either they'll warm up to me again or I'll just fade into a memory of someone they grew tired of being friends with. But I hope it's the former. I pray and hope to God that everything will be back to normal.

But then again, malay mo naman nag-ooverthink lang ako. At the end of the day I just can't help wondering what their reasons are. The last time we spend time with each other, we are saying our temporary goodbyes with matching "Mami-miss kita pare/bes/friend". But the next time we met, we're acting like strangers with memories. So what exactly happened?

This is just me wondering and wasting my time thinking about trivial things, but I bet one point in your life you did the same. This me arguing to myself whether they actually hate me or not. Just another random thought.