Random Thoughts

THOUGHT #4: Back to being a Child

What if you can go back to your childhood and relive all the good things that happened then. And what if you can even change all the bad things that happened in your life? Now that is a great concept.

If I am to go back to my childhood, I will definitely do it even just for a day, or even just for a few moments. I would give almost everything to feel so alive and carefree again, to experience those mornings where I will watch Sineskwela and then Power Rangers and Transformers. While after lunch, my mother would force me to sleep so I can grow taller she said but I would refuse. And then she will get angry and will later on resort to telling a white lie. She will always tell me: "Matulog ka na. Pagkagising mo, pupunta tayo sa Jollibee." Ako naman uto-uto, I believed what Mama said and when I woke up I will tell her that I'm ready to go to Jollibee but she will tell me that Jollibee is already closed. Hence, we can't go because I overslept.

After I threw tantrums, my playmates and childhood friends will go to my house to fetch me. Then we're going to play lots of games such as habulan, taguan, tumbang-preso, harang taga, shiatong and langit lupa. After playing for hours we will go home just before the sun sets and my mother will clean me up just before she prepare dinner.

I would also love to experience it all again. Me, looking forward for my father to come home every night from work with my "pasalubong", which is either a toy or delicious food. Then as he took his first step inside our home I will excitedly bring him his slippers as he sat down in our sofa. So he can rest for a bit before we eat dinner. Those simple things tug a string in my heart because I truly miss it. And now that I think about it, we've come so far. I and my siblings are grown-ups now. We live a comfortable life with food to eat, a beautiful house to live, a car to ride, and money to buy what we want and what we need. But looking back on our simple life when I was still a child I thought we were happier. I think I was happier because of life's simplicity back then.

Looking back to my childhood, I weep invisible tears. It was awesome! I've had the best time of my life. I have live such a simple life just before "growing up" kind of ruined it. Childhood is when life was easier. When I only cry because I scrapped my knees trying to be a superhero or imitating the power rangers or whatever anime I am watching. It was the time when I always wanted my parents to be by my side so I can feel safe all the time. It was the time that our family is always together. It was the time that I truly miss.

One of the best times of my life that I want to go back to was high school. It would be cool and awesome to go back to that period of my life. I will never forget those times that I felt so nervous experiencing my first times as teenager because it feels illegal for a second, and it felt like there were butterflies on my stomach.

That was the time when learned new things for the first time like going home late just to drive around the city eating foods and drinking either soda or mild alcohol which I don't like. So I decided to stick to drinking sodas.

There was also a time that we cut in classes just to have a movie marathon in my classmate's house. But don't get me wrong; despite of doing all these things I remained as one of the top students in my school (hindi sa pagyayabang ah).

We also love joining "Sayawit" Competitions, which is a combination of Sayaw-Awit, even though we don't have chance of winning first place. We don't stand a chance against other sections full of dancer students. Actually I belong to the Special Science Class Section during my high school years where we don't have time to join such competition like Sayawit because of our subject loads which is a lot compare to regular sections. Instead of normal 8 subjects per year, we have 10-12 subjects per year. So that's it. "Section for the nerds", they said. But that didn't stop us in joining various extra-curricular competitions like Sayawit because we also want to have fun. We spent countless of hours of practice after class hours regardless of the mountain of requirements and examinations we need to study for, because why not? Push your limits sabi nga nila.

Totoo nga yung sabi nila. High school will always be one of the highlight of a person's life. There, you will meet your forever friends, your best friends and with them you will make memories that will last forever. A memory that you wish you can relive everytime you talk about it during your friends' birthday parties. And if you have children someday, they will point to some of your old pictures and they will ask "who is this?" and you will smile with invisible tears and say "they are my bestfriends."

Now that I'm being nostalgic, it seems memories are meant to be cherished. Not to sulk on during hard times. But to give you hope that once in your life you have been so happy and you deserved to be happy again. You can be happy again.

Maybe I was just getting tired of my life for now. I don't know why. Maybe because of the problems that we been through and the things that we are going through but I hope that someday it will somehow feel just like the old times. I just want to live that simple life and happy life again. I know I can. I know I will. And someday I will look back again saying "Woah! I did that. I've been through that and still managed to be happy."