Pete's POV (SURPRISE!)
I had been feeling really shit for a while, now that i ran out of meds, i feel like i've crashed. I think Patrick can sense when i'm having thoughts of death, he always pulls me into a hug when i'm thinking of how easy it would be. Life has always been a struggle for me, i have always had to balance my hatred towards myself and my fear of failing. If death was guarenteed, then i would have been dead by now. See the problem is just that, that i am not guarenteed to die. I could survive a suicide attempt. That is the most selfish thing i think, to have only one reason to not kill yourself and it be fear of failing. But that was me a few years back, i have another reason for not trying now... He goes by the name of Patrick.
The moment i laid my eyes on him i knew he was going to change my life somehow. I have never really truly been in love with anyone before Patrick. He woke something in me that even made me sorta kinda like myself in a way. Its hard to explain but basically when i am around him, i feel like im not a complete waste of space and breath. Being around Patrick makes me want to try, it makes me want to live and make something out of myself. The best part of it is, i don't only want to better myself for him, although i do hold that in mind. He makes me want to work on me for me,not only to make him happy, but for ME. I have never wanted anything for myself other that to be put in the fucking ground but holy shit, Patrick made me want to be a better person.
I'm on this couch and Brendon and Dallon are on the other couch, Patrick is next to me with his hand on mine. He rubs the top of my hand with his thumb and my skin tingles where hes touching me. I'm watching Dallon closely as gazes at Brendon like he's a diamond or something. I suppose Brendon felt his stare because he turns to him and gives him the warmest smile, a smile so loving it made my heart flip. Just watching the way they both interacted with each other was mesmerizing, you could tell right away that they were SO in love.
This is like my Ativan, its crazy but this, just sitting here with these guys, is making me so calm.
A/N: HI I DON'T KNOW BUT I STARTED WRITING AND SUDDENLY I GOT STUCK OBVIOUSLY. tHIS STORY FREAKING SUCKS AND I CAN'T WRITE WELL AND IT'S FRUSTRATING. UGH WELL A FEW OF YOU ARE READING SO IM GONNA KEEP GOING FOR YOU BABES. DALLON'S POV IS NEXT ALSO SORRY THAT THIS IS SO STUPIDLY SHORT GOODBYE ILY
