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"My Beautiful Disaster"

My favorite color has always been blue,
And that explains why I am always blue.
Yes I am gay,
But I never have been gay for a long time.

You see my scars but not my pain,
You see me cry,
But you haven't seen me die.
And you didn't do anything to help me.

I only need to feel alive,
Loved,
Cared.
But no one did except darkness.

He's my friend eversince,
He's the one who comforts me.
Always telling me to go
Because that's the right thing to do.

But here comes "She".
She who made me feel
Alive, loved and cared
Like no one had ever did this to me before.

She who brings out the best in me,
She who gave light
To my darkest days
And made me feel like I'm the only one

The one who gave me
The light of hope, of happiness, of love.
But also the one
Who brought me back to darkness.

I am used to pain,
But why does it hurt so much?
I guess the answer is just within me,
She made me feel alive
But also the one who killed me again.

I once lived in darkness,
But someone noticed my pains and sufferings.
And even for the shortest span of time,
I lived in the light of hope, of happiness, of love
And I thank you for that.

Everything is just temporary, I must say.
Temporary feelings
Temporary happiness
Temporary people.
Cause the only permanent is the death of me inside.