ANTICIPATED // book two

68: conversations

«Third Person»

Cameron walkes down the hallways at a fast pace, on his way to the light room. He had expected Nash to be there, and he was. He layed soundly in a ball, in the cushions, with his phone next to him, sleeping.

Cameron walked closer and realized Nash had forgotten to turn the broadcast off, but the phone died and disconnected it so it was okay. He chuckled softly, and picked the small boy up. He cradled him in his arms, and sat down in the chair.

He didn't know if anything was okay anymore. He didn't know if him and Nash were even quite close anymore. It's like, all the things happening to them so far have.. Separated them in a way?

Cam decided that while Nash was asleep he'd snoop through his phone because yolo. So he pecked him softly on the forehead and pulled his phone out of his sweatpants pocket. He unlocked it, luckily it had battery, and went on his twitter. Scrolling through his tl, faving a few tweets, he went to his following count. It had grown from 35K to 36.3K, he must have had a follow spree.

Nash started moving a bit on the older boy's lap. He shifted, and looked down at him. Cameron kissed his cheek lightly, as if he was a baby in his mother's comforting arms.

Maybe something had happened. Maybe he and Nash weren't meant to be, something made him feel as if they were togethor, but not actually togethor.

The way Nash pushed him away, when he would whine as Cam kissed his cheek, when he hated when Cameron did anything nice to him. Was it separation?

Cameron didn't care either way, he loved Nash. But was he still determined to make him happy?

It's been months, and the boy is ANYTHING but happy. Yeah, he's content at times and the only reason why is because the fans. But other than that... He's still depressed.

«Cameron»

I absolutely loved, watching those Disney movies and stories, just as much as the next girl... Even if I'm a guy. Doesn't mean I believed they were true. Doesn't mean the real life ones all ended with a happily ever after. Doesn't mean this one will end in a happily ever after. I was so determined in getting one though.

But maybe, I just couldn't do anything about Nash anymore. I couldn't exactly make him a better person, for I can never actually be who he is and if I can't, then how am I going to know how he feels? I should just wait. I'm just going to sit here... And wait? Yeah, but I'll do it for Nash, and with Nash. Yeah, that's good.

There are so many things people don't understand about Nash.... He's this boy, this innocent, beautiful boy.... With demons in his mind.

He's this innocent, beautiful boy. Who acts happy on the outside. Who is happy on the outside. Who has fans that love him, and those fans are his only source of happiness nowadays. But with his disorders... It just ruins it all.

I feel bad. Because he was this sane kid who had to get his life ruined by a diagnosage. But what could we possibly do.

Things were all good yesterday,

Then the devil took his memory.

And I anticipated...

That if you fell in your death today,

I hoped that heaven is your rest in peace.

So I anticipate for a release...

*****

"Darling hold me in your arms the way you did last night.

No light, in the silence...."

I hummed slowly to Nash. He was still asleep, he sleeped alot during the day but mostly because he hardly slept at night because he was nocturnal, and he had insomnia. AND he was too busy interacting with fans, jesus that kid.