Lonely Together (Justin Bieber Fanfiction)

Chapter 19

It was 1:03 am. I had been trying to get a hold of Justin for almost 4 hours.

I don't know where he is. I don't know why he left. I don't know what to do with myself. It's all my fault.

I had such a familiar feeling in my gut.
No, it wasn't a feeling I got often. It was however, the same feeling I got when my mom left. Having this happen to me twice made me realize one thing: I was right. No one cares about me.

That clenching feeling in your stomach, the pounding in the back of your head. It was there. And it probably would be for a long time. I walked into the dark kitchen, refusing to turn on the lights. I was miserable, I was nothing without him. The only person who actually mattered in my life left, and it was all because I screwed up. Again.

Why didn't I just talk to him. What if he was trying to tell me he's hurt? What if he was going to tell me he had to leave tonight? What if he was making the biggest mistake of his life right now, but I'll never know because I'm to selfish to listen? I can't have anything happen to him. I can't.

I called Justin for the billionth time tonight, feeling a hot tear roll down my cheek as I sat in the corner on the kitchen floor, bringing my knees to my chest.

"Hey, this is Justin! I can't get to the phone right now but leave message."

Beep.

"Um," I took a shaky breath. "Hey." I didn't know where to begin. Inhaling I let it out dramatically before screwing my eyes shut. "I need you." I choked out. "Please," I whispered. "Please come back." Not knowing what else to say, I ended with a squeaked, "Please." And hung up.

I sat there in the dark like that for awhile, thinking I was never going to get up. I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life. End of story.

That's the thing about me. I always complain about how miserable I am, but it's my fault. I push people away. And it always seems to be the people that matter most.

I pushed myself to my feet, grabbing my phone once more. I called Morgan, not being able to handle this any longer.

"Hello?" She groggily answered.

"I need your car," I said instantly, suddenly feeling determined.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"No. Yes. I need your car." I grabbed my jacket.

"Wherever you're going, I'm coming with you. I'm not letting you wander around in the middle of the night."

"You can't," I said. "I need to do this alone."

She heavily sighed. "Alright, are you at Justin's?"

"Yeah."

"I'll drive over there and pick you up, then you can drop me off at my place again and take my car wherever. I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"

After giving her Justin's address, I hung up. Taking a look in the mirror, I was truly scared at what stared back at me. I was a complete mess, but I couldn't worry about that now. I needed to find Justin.

Sure enough, Morgan pulled up a few moments later. I knew I needed to tell her, but I didn't want to. It was embarrassing honesty, all these people wanting nothing to do with me.

I opened the door and pulled myself in, slamming it behind me. Without saying anything, she started driving back to her house.

"I'm sorry," I whispered finally. "I really needed a car tonight."

She just nodded. There were a few moments of silence before she said, "Why were you crying?"

I let a breath out of my mouth and closed my eyes. "No one cares." I said, and it was the truth. "End of story."