fEeLiNgS..{shyland - amberlessthen3

{6} </3

i pressed my lips against his quickly, i didnt know where my confidence had come from but i couldnt think about that now. a small gasp fell from his lips before he started kissing back, moving our lips together in a slow - meaningfull kiss.

i didnt know what was happening to me, we had met not even a week ago and this was already happening, i didnt know anything about him - his age, his hobbys, god i didnt even know his full name. I pulled back then staring at him with wide eyes as he looked at me, his cheeks flushed pink. 'shit 'im sorry!' i explained and stepped back. 'shane its oka-' ryland started but i cut him off 'no no it isnt, fuck ry im so stupid' i started yanking my hair roughly as he stared at me with a somewhat scared expression. 'i p-promise its fine' ryland stuttered and reached his hand out attempting to take my hands away from my hair but i snapped my head up and grabbed his wrist making him gasp louder than before. 'ryland get the fuck out' i shot and pushed his arm against his chest 'b-but s-' 'shut the fuck up!' i cut him off and pushed him into the wall, grabbing both his wrists and pinning them next to his head. he whimpered and tired to move his hands away 'g-get off' he stumbled. i looked down at him seeing he had tears building in his eyes and he looked terrified - the i snapped out of whatever trance i was in.

i let his hands fall and widened my eyes when he started crying softly 'please im sorry im sorry i shouldnt of told you' he sobbed and held his hands to his face. ''m stupid 'm stupid' 'shh no ryland im sorry, i shouldnt of snapped at you, i dont care what you said its ok, come here' i opened my arms and he slowly walked into my arms, still whimpering slightly. i cursed myself mentally for hurting such a special boy 'ry?' i mumbled and he nodded against my chest urging me to continue 'you know before i met you i didnt have feelings, it was this dissorder, fuck i dont know the name but you-you made me laugh and blush and..happy. i dont know how you did but, shit i dunno, since youve been here ive just felt better. i didnt want to ruin that' i stated slowly, ryland didnt answer. i lifted his chin up and leaned slightly closer - i was going to kiss him but he flinched and moved back. i frowned before shaking my head and removing myself from him. 'ryland you can go to school now' i said shallowly as i turned to open the door 'shane' he whispered and looked up at me 'bye ry' i opened the door and looked down as he sighed and left. i closed th door after him and stared up at the ceiling before walking to the couch and slumping down on it. i pulled out my phone and went on my contacts.

to justin:

hey, im sad. lets watch netflix and eat.