Connected Lives (a Les Twins FanFiction)

Chapter 9

Even though she said she did not want - expect - a reply, Sarah had hoped she would get one. It had been three days since she sent the message. Their manager most likely didn't even see it. She needed to let this go, it was starting to disrupt...

"Sarah, sweetheart. Hello?"

Daniel's quiet voice broke through her preoccupied mind. She immediately clenched her teeth in irritation at his intrusion. "I'm sorry Daniel, my mind was wandering," she blushed slightly in embarrassment, as if he could have known what she was thinking about. When she looked at him she was surprised and disconcerted. His face wore a very "un-Daniel" expression. "What's wrong?"

He sighed with more than a little exasperation. "What is going on with you, Sarah? For months you have been edgy, you spend little time at home, when you take Nathan anywhere you always come back upset. I don't understand this Sarah." He paused, but not long enough for her to launch into a defense. She could not have been more unprepared for his next question. He looked at her, directly into her eyes, serious and humble, "Are you having an affair Sarah?"

She stared at him in complete shock, not knowing if she should laugh or cry or kill him. She settled on incredulous laughter plus sputtering. Her eyes bulged staring at her placid husband, barely holding her tongue and the scream that hid behind it.

"Don't act surprised Sarah!" he spit back, his voice raised and forceful. "You are an intelligent woman, you had to know I would ask questions! You checked out from this family months ago!"

Sarah tried and failed to remember a time that Daniel lost his temper at her. For as volatile as she could be, he was equally even-keeled. They used to balance each other so well. He encouraged her to slow down and take in the sights more often; she urged him to open his heart and feel more freely. They just worked. Now they just...didn't. And she knew it was her. After the "accident" she was broken, her life that she loved was over in one horrible, blinding flash. She learned she was pregnant in the ER, then miscarried a month later. She was relieved. But three months after that, after the first time she and Daniel had made love since the terrible day, she discovered that she was pregnant with Nathan. She was devastated. As it turned out, she was pretty good at being a mom, but nothing else recovered. Her wounds healed on the outside, in a way, but she had not really healed at all.

"Don't do that Daniel, don't you dare! How dare you accuse me of having an affair! That coming from a man who hardly looks at his wife, much less touches her! By all rights I should be having an affair!" Tears sparkled in her eyes, her voice loud but cracking like the shell of a fragile egg. "I haven't checked out Daniel. I was never really here."

Daniel softened as he looked at what was left of the extraordinary woman who had breathed life into him eight years ago. Sarah had been a woman imbued with self-confidence. She was raw energy and incredible grace. She was still all of those things, that woman was there, buried under the rubble. He hoped.

What had followed that quiet moment on the couch with Daniel left Sarah feeling... In truth, she had no idea how she felt. Afterward she sought refuge in her studio. She sat down cross-legged in the middle of the floor and tried to bring her thoughts into order.

There had been some more raised voices (just her yelling really.) There had been tears and she said things she could never un-say, even if they were honest. But ultimately, she looked at her husband and said, "This is not what...this life, I never wanted it, I don't want it. I want to be the woman I was before, the one you loved. All I am now is an empty shell." Daniel responded, but not as she expected. He had looked at her and said, "Yes, I loved you before Sarah, and if you think you are the only one that changed that day, you are terribly mistaken. You have made a great many choices that have shaped this life you say you don't want. It's time for you to own the role you have written for yourself. You're the only one that can make your life one that you love...but you can't do that here." Her head had snapped up and she locked her eyes on him.

Fear and confusion had blurred her vision and her voice stammered, "What are you saying Daniel? Oh my god, what are you...oh god, no. No. I...I..." Daniel had gestured to her to calm down. "Sarah, calm down. I'm not asking for a divorce. I want you to be able to get things straightened out for yourself. But as things are now, this brings too much negativity and tension into our home. It's not healthy for us, but it is especially not healthy for Nathan. I want...no, I need, for you to go - wherever you want for however long you need. And when you find what you need to feel whole again, we'll be waiting here for you."

Sitting now, analyzing everything that had occurred, she thought of his answers to questions she had asked and felt guilty about the ones she didn't. But more than anything, she recognized a growing sense of relief, and gratefulness for the gift Daniel had given her. She knew she would not have done the same. She jumped when her phone, jammed into her back pocket, vibrated loudly against the hardwood floor. She had no way to explain how she knew who had just messaged her, but she did. She pulled up Instagram and opened the message.

Why did you want me to check on Laurent? Who are you?

Sarah replied:

My name is Sarah. Is he okay?

The response was almost instant:

I need to speak with you. Here is my number...

In that moment, before ever speaking to their manager, Sarah knew where it was she was going. She went online, booked the earliest flight to Paris and began to pack.