Insecure || JJK

*-* Fake Secrets *-*

Chapter 8

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"Use my bed if you want, it's comfy not like the bed at this room." he placed down your luggages at the spare room his apartment has but you kindly denied his offer.

Giving him another trouble was enough, stealing his lovely bed from him will just burden you more.

Jungkook closed the door and informed you that he'll make dinner first so you could unpack and explore.

He said that both of you will talk later at the dinner, no secrets and all so he could help you.

"You're hurt aren't you? Distract yourself first, I'll treat all of those later. You eat kimchi rice right? I'll be cooking those and we'll talk while we eat, no secrets so me as a friend can help you. Okay?"

You remembered his question to you before he disappeared from your sight. He's a boyfriend material, he knows how to cook and take care of those in need. It made your heart beat loud and crazy but one thing bothered you,

He must have noticed your body's condition, you didn't disapprove with what he said and just agreed that you'll talk with him.

You need to let out all of this too.

But the 'friend' on his statement stopped your blushing moment. It ruined your mood especially remembering that he's committed to Adalyn.

"Kind hearted, handsome and perfect. Not a type of boy that will be mine." you sighed and looked around the small room with a bed on the side and a little study table beside the cabinets, the room was complete with things a guest would need but why would he have this kind of room?

This room must be for someone else.

You started unpacking your clothes, folding it nicely and organizing them in the cabinets one by one. It took you half an hour to organize each one of them and the luggage was finally empty. You started digging at the other bags and saw that it was your gadgets and a photobook.

Your tears welled up again as you stare at the little you on the pictures, you're too happy and energetic on it being carried by your father and mother. You touched and caressed the memories beneath the pages of the book and started to feel down by the sudden rewinds of the past.

"At least I once became this happy in my life."

Was all you managed to say while trying to remember the happy moments that you had hoping that it would stop you from crying, but it didn't.

It only knocked you out waking you up from your daydream that you'll never have this kind of life again. You started to feel anger again.

The room got darker and you felt helpless but something's inside you that made you toss around the pictures letting it scatter around the neat room. You stomped at the fallen memories and laughed so hard.

"Fuckers." you breathed out and picked up a picture.

It was a sunny day at the beach side. You and and your father was playing volleyball and the perfect shot got your highest jump recorder when you were still a six goddamn innocent girl.

"Fake, fake happiness, fake dreams and fake memories. All of these are fake!"

You shouted and locked the door. You bursted out and started tearing the pictures down in little pieces that no other person could fix again.

You destroyed one after another and you are left with small pieces of photo papers on the floor indescribable because of the condition.

"Oh no, no! Those are my precious pictures of my father, no!"

You kneeled down and picked up everything but you grew shocked at what you can do.

You gave up crying on the floor. Looking up and lying on the wall you punched yourself letting your anger on yourself disappear but it didn't.

You bit your nails because of nervousness, a hobby you'll always do.

Your nails aren't looking like those without a reason and you being bullied because of it, you got taken back.

'They don't know why I look like this yet they fucking bully me like they are gods who can see all.'

You thought hoping you'll stop the bad habit but it didn't, you just continued to bite it until it bled.

You gasped seeing your fingers badly hurt but you never felt a sting, not a thing.

It was all numb.

You got up ruffling your messy hair aggressively and stood in front of the bathroom door holding a thing you always have on your pocket.

A thing you'll only use when you wanted to make yourself pretty with marks.

You smiled like a crazy person. Twisting the knob as you go you sighed and looked straight ahead.

You're not the only one who'll get a gift today like marks and cuts on your skin but,

Jungkook will receive one too,

And it's your dead body.

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