It's in the House: Lessons from a Widow Woman for Everyone

3. Blame Game

What I like about the widow woman is that she didn't play the blame game. It is not recorded that she said anything negative about her deceased husband. She is not recorded as blaming her husband for leaving her with overwhelming debt and two sons to raise on her own. She is not blaming the economy or government. When she goes to see Elisha and speaks with him, she is not even blaming Elisha for her current situation and just as importantly, she is not blaming herself. Instead she is taking ownership by seeking a solution for her predicament. Blaming is a disempowering activity. It causes you to focus more on the problem than on the solution. It is an old game that is counter-productive and can have devastating consequences. Read Genesis 3:9-19 in the Bible, where the blame game was first played by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The widow woman had to take responsibility if she ever hoped to get out of her situation. Instead of blaming someone else for the problem, the widow took ownership and probably asked herself, "How can I find a solution for the problem I am facing?" To take responsibility for your life is actually empowering. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have all of the answers, but it means you are willing to seek the answers and then make your own decisions. Part of taking ownership is coming to the realization that you are the only one that can change your life. It starts with a sincere desire to change and then taking the necessary steps to make the change happen.

When you play the 'blame game' you will always lose; because you see yourself as a victim. People who overcome adversity in life don't identify themselves as victims. They see themselves as overcomers and therefore they see themselves as victorious! Overcomers play to win and they get the victory! It is their expectation. Often, to others, it appears that these people are always destined to win. Do bad things happen to these people? Certainly! They have their fair share of problems too. However, it is their reaction to the problem that determines their destiny.

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. (Matthew 5:45)

We are reminded in the following passage:

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. (Ecclesiastes 9:11)

Time and chance happens to us all. Life happens to everyone that is alive. Sometimes circumstances occur in our lives that we have no control over. Overcomers can't control certain circumstances any more than anyone else. The primary difference is the way each individual thinks about the negative circumstances they are facing. The overcomers’ thoughts are that the problem will not defeat them.

This widow knows that there is a solution. She uses her power of thought to remain optimistic about the outcome. Her attitude is positive even when the external forces are negative. She maintains control of internal dialog and emotions.

The widow is not focused on the issue as much as her thoughts. The key is to not let the darkness of the external, force itself on the light of truth that is within you. You control the light and the light within is greater than the darkness without.

Lesson

Bad things can happen to anyone at any time. And by the way, good things can happen to you at any time. Life does present its challenges but you must never blame life, other people, or things for how you choose to respond. You are in control of your response, actions, and attitudes regarding anything and everything that happens to you -- good, bad, or indifferent.

Actions to Take

1. Take ownership of where you currently are in life.

2. List the top three areas of your life that you would like to improve.

3. Examine the list to see if you are blaming anyone (or thing) other than yourself for the lack of improvement in any of the three areas.

4. If you are blaming someone, something, or even yourself for any reason -- stop!

Pearlables

Don't play the blame game.

Take ownership for your predicament.

Only you can change your life.