untitled, 2018 | 김유겸

hard

this is it. the end of it all. i could finally escape from everything that caused me sorrow and deep despair. i could finally escape from getting my eyes all swollen from staying up late, and making our makeup stylists angry for having to put more work on my face. sorry guys.

i never wanted those crucial things to happen, i never did. at some point, i'm glad that they did. because fate wouldn't write down my destiny without a good reason.

if you're reading this, and you just had a lousy day at work or school, got into a fight with someone you loved or loathed, recently suffered from a mental breakdown, or just can't help but don't know why you feel empty and numb, you did well. you did a really good job today. i hope you know that aside from the mistakes we learn from, all of us have both dark and light inside us. what's important is who we choose to be.

please don't be like me. please don't.

just tell me that i worked hard.
tell me that i did well.
tell me how painful it must be for me to wait and pass through my brothers' important stages of their lives.
tell me how strong i was for making these sacrifices.
i simply want someone to genuinely care about me.