it's starting to wear me down.
the arguments, his tantrums that happens for unknown reasons, and his possessive nature is becoming more severe.
"why do you still put up with him?" dika, the black haired guy with one of the brightest smile known to mankind (this is self proclaimed, by the way), who happens to be one of my close friends in this class had asked.
"i love him. and i know i might sound stupid or crazy for saying this but- it's not him. when he's enraged, he almost seems like a different person."
"of course, someone acts differently when they're mad."
"no, it's different."
"how is it different?"
i couldn't answer his question and stay silent. a sigh leaves his lips and he looks at me with worry clearly shown on his face.
"just- take care of yourself, okay?"
-
he's sleeping now. i sit in silence on the space beside him. he looks like a baby; peaceful, untroubled, calm.
-
"get off of my lap, you giant child!"
"nooooo. i don't want to. it's comfy!" his whines resembles one that belongs to a child whose toy is being taken away by someone.
dion's still not budging from his spot. we're spending our usual saturday movie nights at his place and he's really making himself comfortable by laying his head on my lap, a huge grin etched on his face.
"move. i'll cook you something." i try to negotiate only to be met by rejection.
"i'm not hungry, thea." he whines again and this time he tries to hide his face on my stomach. "i'm kinda sleepy."
dion came home late today. he had a day full of classes and some group projects to take care of. even i had arrived first in front of his house before i see him with his blue scooter approaching from afar.
he'd promised me that we're going to catch up on the latest episode of riverdale but it seems like he's far too tired to do it now.
"dion, please move."
"i don't want to."
i heave a soft sigh and let him stay like that. i can see the corners of his lips tugging up into a victorious smile and soon enough my fingers finds its place where it belongs; tangled between his dark locks.
-
usually, when he starts to raise his voice, i don't have any say in the conversation anymore. there's no use biting back, talking some sense into him at that state is just like trying to put out a forest fire with just one bucket of water. it's like talking to a brick wall.
my ears have grown used to all of the crass and hurtful words he had said to me. it doesn't affect me as much anymore. it still hurts, but it doesn't linger inside my head afterwards - which had been the main cause of my lack of sleep lately.
-
bram takes notice of how dead i look at campus. my dark circles are becoming more prominent and i couldn't be bothered to hide them with concealer.
"so what's taking away your precious time to sleep?" he questions me as soon as class had ended. i look terribly short whenever i walk with bram. sometimes i have to look up in order to talk to him properly and not to his chest. i'm not even that short but he's just too damn tall.
