Showmanship

17 - Yes, The Glass is Half Empty this Time.

Yes, the glass is half empty this time.....

This is going to be a somber chapter.

Most of the time life is full of silly antics such as blacking out drunk in a Pizza Hut or trying your best to make your dog not pee on that one shelf, but sometimes everything becomes a mess of hospital tubes, funerals, and paperwork.

I think this moment sticks in my brain like razor blades because it taught me an important philosophy. The oddly comforting idea that life is not a book or tv show. There is no planned out plot. There is no beginning or end, and because of that anything can happen.

When you hear that it's a simple concept and you think "Yeah, I know that", but as the world gets crazier and we daydream more it becomes foggy.

It's okay to have your head in the clouds, but you have to make sure that when you drop back to the ground you won't brake an arm.

When actors are finally done with a big project like a Netflix Original Series they are in this weird lull of 'should I get another job or just lay around'. A lull that I found myself in.

    I knew I would have to be around for another season eventually, but that would be for a year or more. How was I going to feed myself for a year or more?

I would not go back to Dave and Buster's!

     I got sucked into other things, in an attempt to distract my anxiety about the fact that I was being completely useless. So that Tuesday in March I decided that I would go with Dorothy to see Ms. Laura.

    After Dorothy and I started to seriously see each other we decided that it would be smart to be mostly hidden. Christine told us the deal that we would not loose our jobs because we were dating each other, but a scandal forming on our behalf was a threat she couldn't control.

   Sure, Mr. Red and Mr. Blue would do anything to keep Christine around, but there is also something called 'to much publicity'.

    I for once wasn't even the problem. The media didn't know I existed (which I was fine with), but Dorothy, as per usual, was different. They swarmed around Dorothy like L.A to Coachella, mainly due to the underage drinking arrests, court ordered rehab for a problem she didn't have, and what the tabloids liked to call 'her Brittany Spears moment'.

     Dorothy wasn't on their radar, she was the radar.

   Though, our new 'don't give a shit' attitude we had bought at Target for $5.99 said otherwise. The attitude deal we purchased told us to go for it, so we did. We hung out outside of my apartment for the first time in forever to go to the scariest neighborhood I had ever seen. 

     Ms. Laura's trailer sat in its normal left side of the park, surrounded by her prize rose bushes and some old frisbees kids had thrown.

   I liked Ms. Laura. She didn't count her days or care that she was an 80 year old woman in stockings and fake pearl beads. Her shoulders held strong with a confidence that I wish I had.

   Dorothy and I were both startled when we walked in. Papers stacked on her kitchen table were perched up with pull bottles. Her trash, filled with cigarettes and tissues, had overflowed. The dishes trailed on the kitchen counter, and the paper plates she had breakfast with weren't thrown away.

    "The trailer looks quaint today," I commented, trying my best to be polite.

    "I know it's shit," she coughed into a tissue. "Stop being a gentleman."

     I stopped talking, which was the best I could do.

   Dorothy pinched me at my side and placed the remaining amount of groceries on the ground since the counters were full.