Train // DenNor

The Cousin, The Persian and The Fault

I arrive at the hall the conference will be held in. I walk around a bit, before finally settling for a little bench.
Mathias should arrive soon. I look at all the people.
Some look weird. You can clearly see they're wearing wigs, they almost look like the characters!
I shake it off me, as Mathias decides he suddenly wanted to jump in besides me.

"Heyyyyyy!", his voice fades out as he sees my shocked expression.
I didn't see him.
He quickly realizes, "Oh, sorry about that..."
I nod to him. I take a small pause to get my breathing under control.
I turn to him, "Want to go?"

We walk around a bit. He points at some people.
"See! That person's dressed up like Lydia!", he says happily and points to a woman with long blonde hair.
I laugh.
I have no idea who Lydia is.
I turn to Mathias, if he knows so much about it, why not just ask him?
"Isn't Lydia Lill's sister?", I ask him quietly.
He looks at me in shock, but recovers quickly to an entusiastic smile.
"Cousin, but close! She married that Persian guy, y'know?", he responds.
"Ah, now I know," I respond and send a quick smile.
I thought it was Lill who married the Persian guy. This series is confusing.

Mathias ends up buying some merchandise.
"See! It's Nima!", he points at a little keychain.
He looks at me quickly.
"The Persian guy," he reassures me.
Thanks.
"Nima's the Persian guy,  Lill's cousin Lydia married?", I ask him.
His eyes light up.
"You learn so fast!", he says almost proudly.
I smile.
I do learn quickly. Happy me.

"Sooo... What was your reason to invite me here?", Mathias grins.
I look at him strictly.
"You like the show. Simple," I respond coldly. I know what he's out to do. I won't tolerate it.
"That's all?", he asks. He almost looks dissapointed.
"Mhm," I respond.
It stings somewhere. I don't know why, but that response hurt.
Must've been a coincidence.
"Did.. did the airport thing mean anything?", he asks me carefully.
His voice is careful. He's weak right now.
I remember. Where I grabbed him.. got the last laugh.
Did it really mean anything for me?
I remember getting very relieved, but was it even connected?
Wasn't it just the relief of going home?

No. It wasn't.
I'm not a fool. I know what's happening.
I was relieved, because I somehow let out my emotions.
It was so easy. I was so happy.
Why does it have to be so hard now?

I look him in the eyes. They're full of sorrow.
Why won't I do something? Why do I stand here like a monster, watching this person in front of me become more full of sadness?

"I see,", he says. His voice is all smudgy. It's not cheerful. It's dark and slow.
He begins walking and passes me.
I turn around.
He walks for the exit. He quickly but roughly pusses the door open. He almost headbutts into some people, but he doesn't care.

He's gone. I stand here alone. There are some people who look at me, but this time I don't even mind it.
I just wander in my own thoughts. This time I just wanna get out of my own thoughts.

I feel like it's all my fault.