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H E R
I hated Alexandria.
It felt claustrophobic almost. The stuffiness of the tall, steel fences closing in around me tight.
I couldn't breathe.
Maybe I had spent too much time out there, in the real world. Maybe my entire brain had reconfigured itself while we were out on the road that now, like a rabid animal, I no longer felt protected in a place that was legitimately safe. Perhaps my soul had become one of a wanderer's. It was a sick thing. What kind of sane person wanted to be out there with those things?
As the first couple weeks went by ever-so-smoothly, I only loathed it more. Those soft and cushy days were the norm for the Alexandrians. It was a drinking sweet tea on the front porch, writing your journal in the garden, Church on Sunday, casserole dinner and apple pie dessert kind of life. School in the afternoon and a warm place to sleep.
It got even worse when Rick decided we should disperse a bit. Separate us between the two homes they offered. I noticed how he meticulously sectioned Carl and I into different houses. Although it bothered me, I didn't say a word.
Because it wasn't supposed to bother me.
The boy and I needed distance from each other anyway.
I lived with Glenn and Maggie, who had surprised me with how warmly they had taken me in. Of course, I had grown close to them on the road but for them to step up and put my care on their conscious when it was not necessary nor did I need it, but simply because they saw a child without parents that they took into their small, intimate circle of immediate family out of only the kindness of their hearts. Maggie would wake me up every morning and Glenn would check in on me before bed every night.
The weight of nostalgia hit me like a freight train, aching for the presence of my parents. The way I missed them so completely, so wholeheartedly, it felt like I could tear my hair out in frustration over it. Sometimes, the only peace was in solitude, retreating to the woods, reminiscent of the months spent alone after the fall of the prison.
I had found a section of the fence that was climbable and out of view from the look out post. I had only went over a couple of times, always making it back in time for class. No one even noticed I was gone.
