The Burns of the Past

Stars_Alight

The pain.
Oh, how it burns the scar on my soul like the flames of a wildfire.
And to think a physical scar upon my being wasn't enough a reminder of my faults and failures.

Flames licked up and along the sides of logs stacked neatly inside a large fireplace, the soot blackened the stone wall behind it and the smell of smoke hung strong on the air. The fire moved about the wood so fluidly, brightening the dark room as it danced and roamed freely within the grate.

And to think that I was as free and spirited once.
The Ellon scoffed.

And long ago, he had been. He had been free and quite spirited among his people.
Running about the halls and gardens as an Elfling, or training hard with a proud grin upon his slim face in the fields with the other guards. The times he would get himself and his friends into mischief were beyond count, and he was quite fond of parties and large gatherings.
That is, until loss took away his joy and love and replaced it with everlasting grief.
His family, torn apart by war right before his very eyes so long ago, had placed a scar upon his soul to match the one on his face.
Now, all he had left of his family was a son.

A son that is miles away from me now. A son I may never lay eyes on again less the war is ended.

With a sigh the elf's stormy grey eyes turned to a portrait on the mantelpiece above the warm, crackling fire.
Tentatively he reached out to pick it up off the shelf and admire it affectionately.
Cast in a frame of pure strung silver sat a painting of four elves, three of which the Ellon had held most dearly to his heart.

All of whom are now gone. They have left me to rule this cold, damp kingdom in the dark wood all alone.

The face of his late wive stared back up at him from the flames, her eyes bright and her smile wide as she held their newborn son in her arms. Her eyes stood out to him as if she were actually before him in the flesh once more, and he was right to have always said her eyes were her most striking feature.
The Ellon himself stood with his arms around his lovely wife's waist, a grin on his face that would forever more be the last he would wear.

An older Ellon stood behind himself and his wife in the portrait, and despite the weary smile on his face, his eyes shone brightly with pride for his family.

Adar.
Oh how I wish you were still here to help guid me through my grief.

The flames seemed to grow brighter as the Ellon gripped the frame in his strong hands, causing it to tremble as his breath hitch in his throat.
A log popped loudly in the hearth as a single tear rolled down his pale cheek.
Looking back into the fire only brought back unbidden memories to form in his mind. The many battles he had fought in and brought victory to over his many years, the fond memories he shared with his wife and young son so long ago.....

I may have brought victory to those battles, but I lost so much from them.

A dark battlefield appeared before his eyes, with the corpses of orcs and elves alike littering the ground in bloody tangles. An Ellon strode franticly across the field, his eyes watering in worry and his voice horse from yelling.

No, I wish not relive these horrors! But again I find myself trapped within them.

A weak voice caught the Ellon's attention on the field, and he rushed over to its source. He fell to his knees and let his sword fall to the ground in a clatter.
Before him lay a beautiful Elleth covered in both the blood of her enemies and of her own. Her eyes were filled with a deep set pain and a bow clutched firmly in her hand.

"Meleth nin! No, no please! Stay still, I will get you to the healers," the Ellon cried, his arms shaking as he tried to lift his wife from the ground.

"Daro, daro! Please my love, do not burden yourself with what cannot be fixed."

Why must I be haunted with vivid images of my past? Have I not suffered enough by being present for the events themselves when they happened?

"Do not say such things. You will be fine, I will make sure of it!"
The Ellon wiped the tears from his eyes.

"No, there is nothing anyone can do for me Meleth nin, and you know this," she choked.

The Ellon cried out in anguish, holding onto his beloved's body as she faded away.

"Take care of our son. Make sure he is loved," were her last, whispered words, as the breath in her lungs and the beating of her heart diminished.

Why must her voice ring so loudly in my head? I both love and despise her voice, for it brings me joy, and yet a crushing grief to hear it in my waking dreams.

And then there were three, the Ellon with his father and son, who were all lost without the presence of the queen by their sides.

Up came yet another war, this one of great importance. And though the battle was won, another piece of his heart was lost.

The flames seemed to grow in height in their place behind the grate as tears stung the Ellon's eyes once more, the memory appearing before his eyes yet again.

A fierce and large battle took place on the plains of Dagorlad, with orcs, men and elves alike falling to the steel points of swords and arrows.
Many screams rang across the land as the battle continued on.

The Ellon raced across the field, dodging spears and clubs at every turn. He defended those which he loved fiercely, but it hadn't been enough.

I hadn't been enough.

At long last, the battle was won. High and low the Ellon searched, and with each and every moment that passed him by only revealed to him the inevitable truth.

Finally, a scene presented itself before his eyes that only proved his dreaded theory to be true.
There lie the body of his father, upon the cold, unforgiving ground with an arrow pierced through his heart. His face was pale and lifeless, eyes staring blankly up at the heavens while his hair fanned around his broken head.

With a broken heart, the Ellon sunk to his knees and wept. He could not bring himself to leave the battle field until his men had to force him away.

The day I was announced the new ruler of  Eryn Lasgalen.
Mirkwood, as it has been named as of late.
Such a day many a Prince would look forward to, but not I.
That day I dreaded more than most.

Then came the parting of his son, the final blow that sent his heart shattering for a third and final time. He had not held to his promise to his wife.
He had not treated his son with love and affection. Instead, he ignored him in his grief, and treated him like another soldier in the army.

And now, Ion nin is gone from me. My only child, no longer by my side....

The wood was burnt and covered in white soot, and there was hardly anything left for the flame to cling to. The flames fought to burn bright, but it was quickly losing its battle as the flames flickered and the logs crumbled.
And with the smoldering embers giving their last, flames dimmed low and passed into nothing more but ash.

And with it, the ElvenKing's heart too seemed to fade away.

The pain.
Oh how it burns the scar on my soul like the flames of a wild fire...