Troubled Soul (ryden fanfic)

Chapter 6- You're Mine

(Ryan's P.o.v.)

  After that moment, 1 week passed without communication at all. He would give me smiles in the hall and walk around with his girlfriend. I know me and him weren't together, but it still hurts. A lot. It's like he's leading me on, like I'm his second choice, I don't want to be the second choice. I want to be the one.

    The last time we spoke he said, "Don't tell anyone," He said before he got up. "I love you Ryan" he left. That's what I last heard from him. Now all I hear is his laughs across the halls, laughing with other guys. Just the bittersweet silence when were around each other. Was it awkward? He keeps lying, I bet he didn't mean anything about what he said.

  If he loved me he would be here with me, protecting me, kissing me, but no. I am defenceless, alone, scared. I'm alone all the time, and honestly that is what scares me, but I'm used to it. I thought Brendon was my light from the darkness, but he found out I was helpless, he left and turned the light off.

     I was sitting in first period watching Brendon flirt with some girs, I sigh. I strum my guitar and hum something.

'so..did you know that to me

you meant a real lot

but when you saw her

i was the one that you forgot

so you grabbed the chance you had

and just got between her legs

every time i think of what you done

i cry myself to bed

when you whispered in my ear

"babe your the one"

It felt so right

Now your with another one

all them times that we shared

When i looked into your eyes

And you told me that you cared

I just wanna know what happened

to the same old you

but you let me fall

your love wasn't so true.'

   I sang, I didn't realize how many eyes were laying on me, even Brendon. I heard a chuckle and then everyone turned back around, except Brendon. He stood there speechless. My cheeks got hotter and I turned away from his stare.

   Shit shit shit, he's walking over here. What do I do? What do I do? Should I flex? No what the hell Ryan. Keep it cool. I strummed my guitar and looked up at him when he was in front of my desk.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hey Ryan, Do you have a pencil, mine broke." He said as he lifted his pencil. Seriously, its been a week since we've spoken, and this fucker asks for a pencil. I nodded and gave him mine, "Thanks bud," He smiled and walked away.

  I gritted my teeth inside of my mouth. I want to comfort him, but if he wants to talk to me, he can.

   I spent the rest of my day, eating in the bathroom, the usual. It's easy because the toliet is the trash can.

  The day was finally over and I can go home to even a worse life. What do I have to live for anyway? I guess I don't want to be "That kid"

    When walking home I remembered the night I spent at Brendon's, he saw my cuts. Nobody has ever seen them, but I think he took care of it pretty well. Of course, that didn't make me stop, why should I even stop anyway? Everyone and I mean everyone hates me, so shouldn't I hate myself?

   These types of thoughts swarm my mind the entire way home. I made it home and ran up the stairs as fast as I could before anybody could see me. It's better to be invisible to my parents then around them.

  I went over to my screwed up guitar and started writing again. Scribble scribble, scratch scratch on my notepad.

  I heard a knock at my door. Oh no it better not be a salesmen, my dad didn't take the last one very well.

  I went up to the window to see what was out there. Why does this have to happen to me? Brendon was going to get fucked up by my dad. I listened closely to my dad open the door, then he slammed it shut. I heard him coming from my stairs, fuck fuck.

   I ran towards the window and yelled Brendon's name he turned to the window and smiled, "Can I trust you?," I yell. He comes closer with a confused look and nods, "Okay then catch me!" I scream before jumping out of the windowceil, it wasn't much of a drop.

   "RYAN!" He yelled in shock and runned towards my falling body. Luckily, he caught me, but he fell to the floor as well. I was on top of him, and he winked. I rolled my eyes and got up, "Come on we NEED to go now!" I told him trying to drag him up.

"What, why?" He asks. "My dad!" I yell, after I looked at the open door, my dad was standing in the doorway holding a bottle of alcohol. "RUN!" I yell, dragging Brendon behind me. I saw a bottle crash in front of us, he threw a fucking bottle at us.

  We ran far away enough and hid behind a building. He smirked at me, I slid down the wall, putting my head in my hands.

  He put his hand on my back, "What's wrong Ryro?" He said sadly. "I can never go back," I said between sobbs. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"This is all your fault! If you wouldn't have come I wouldn't have to escape!" I shot up and pointed at him.

"Woah! I'm not the one who jumped out of a fucking window to see me." He yelled back.

"I was going to get beat either way!" I screamed, sobbing. His eyes widened, I never told him I am abused.

"Ry-" He said quietly, "No! Why did you come to me all of sudden in one week! You ignored me and made me feel alone.You said you need me You said you never leave, You

you caused so much grieve!" I let everything inside me, escape.

  His eyes started to water, and his hands were shaking. My furrowed eyebrows, released. "I'm-"

"I left!" He sobbed. I raised my eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean," I said soflty. "I left my house when I told them I went to go look for you, I ignored you because-because I," He kept sobbing. I pulled him into my arms and he cried into my shoulder.

   "It's okay Bren," I whispered. I kissed his head and he let go of me, "My parent's kicked me out tonight, and I wanted to be with you." He said softly. "It's the only chance I'll get, after that I'm not aloud to leave the house again. I just-" He got cut off, "Hey hey Bren, it's okay we'll make things work, right? We still have school." I said smiling. He nodded and put on a forced smile.

  "So what are we going to do? Since were both kicked out of our houses?" I said smirking. Brendon wiped his eyes and spoke, "Well, I would love to spend a evening with you at the park," He said and grinned. I kissed his temple. "That sounds good," I said, reaching for his hand.