Troubled Soul (ryden fanfic)

Chapter 27:: Were Toxic

(Ryan's p.o.v)

            Walking this road seemed like a long way without our bikes. We had to leave them behind because Brendon didn't want to risk anything. I don't blame him.

       They entire way home he kept his hands on me, around my waist or my shoulders. It felt nice like always, I feel more safe with him around. If only me and him had all the same classes together then everything would be a little better. Scratch that: A lot better.

           The next day at school tomorrow is going to be hell, it's going to drain me. People will burn me and Brendon at the stake tomorrow. Number one rule of attending a highly religious school: Don't be completely obvious.

        This is all my fault. If I hadn't had started to kiss him in the bathroom then we wouldn't be in this mess in through first place. I fist the hem of my shirt when we walk into our apartment door.

        We hang our school stuff on our hooks near the door, kicking off out shoes.

   "I'll start making us cup of noodles, okay Ry?" He finally says something. He didn't speak on the way home, not once.

      "Okay." I say quietly and go to change into some comfortable clothes. Once I get on my blue pj pants and white T-shirt, I go to our green couch in the living room, plowing down on it with a sigh.

         I heard Brendon push buttons on the microwave while I cuddle up in the corner of the couch. I close my eyes and rest my head back.

       A sudden touch is felt on my body and glance down at my Brendon now next to me, nuzzling the middle of my stomach with his head like a cat.

        He moves his hand across my stomach, swirling his fingers around my milky skin. I sigh again at the pleasure, the pleasure of Brendon just being here with me. Well the fact that he is touching me too.

        He then crawls into my scrawny lap like a baby, his arms around my shoulders, and his legs tangled with mine, hugging me tightly. His head rises to my neck, pecking it a bunch of times.

"It's. Going. To. Be. Okay." He says between kisses. That doesn't change the fact that we might become roadkill tomorrow. His luscious hair now up against my cheek, resting his head against it. "Want to hear a story?" He then whispers.

        Of course I want to hear a story. Your stories make me want to fly because of how well you tell them. How your voice drops an oactave when your about to say something funny, or how you giggle before you say something ridiculous. Of course I want to hear your stories.

"Yes." I sigh and nuzzle my nose in his hair, breathing in his strawberry shampoo. He rubs my back and begins to speak.

      "When I was little," He paused. "I was a big fan of baseball players. I mean not the baseball games, but the players. I liked the way the pants fit there ass or how they squated down." He giggled and my heart melted. "I didn't know I was into guys back then, I only found out when I met the love of my life." He kisses my head. "But anyway. I asked my mom why  I liked guys asses more than girls asses." He paused again. "She told me I was going insane and to give up on that thought. So I did for a really long time. My mom caught me looking at the guy section of magazines sometimes, I never knew why I was always there. I was little at the time so I didn't know what gay was." He took a deep breath. "I-I remember one night my mom yelled that I was going to go to hell if I fantasized about men. I was scared for years and years." He says. I just let that random story sink in.

        "Basically what I'm trying to say is that," He paused once again. "Don't let the fear of others bring you down or you will feel like your missing something for a long time." He looks into my eyes. "Before I met you, I-I was always weirded out with everything. I never felt right with my ex girlfriends, and now I know why." He sighs and let's the corners of him mouth do a tiny smile.

         I just smile at him and bring my lips to his, being careful around my cut. He groans in the back of his throat and brings his hot hands to my neck, tilting his head.

         He cathes my non-injured lip into his mouth and sucks it sweetly,.rubbing his hands up and down my neck.

     "I love you so much." Brendon says hotly against my mouth. I Peck his lips and pull away.

    "I love you Brendon." I finish and start to shift on the couch, him still on me. I lie down now with the love of my life on top of me, sprawled all over me with our hands intertwined.

        I kissed his head and before I knew it, I was asleep.

     We forgot about the cup of noodles that night.

----

    The next day brought me and Brendon to shaky knees. We knew once we stepped through the door, there would be no out. We walk in causally, hoping no one would remember yesterday.

        Down the hall, I notice people staring with wide eyes and bickering to their shoulder buddies. The constant bang of lockers filled my ears, but it was a slamming.

         Alarmed, Brendon was fucking thrown to the nearest locker by the boy that cut my lip yesterday. Andrew. I was about to scream from the terror.      

     Rage filled my veins, about to burst, but I didn't do anything. My feet were glued to the floor.

         I start to panic and my breath shortened as he threw a punch at my baby's face. Why aren't I doing anything? Why am I so worthless? I start to cough, unsure on what to do.

        I caught Brendon's eye while he looked at me with his jaw at slack, bringing me close to tears. He looked panicked as I hacked up a fucking lung.

      "Help him- I need to help hi-" Brendon's quivering voice was cut off by another fist to his face. I tried to regain myself so I could actually move.  I massage my throat, trying to get air.

       "Shut up you fucking faggot!" Andrew yells and pushes him to the locker harder.

       "WE'RE TOXIC!" I yelp, trying to move over to my Brendon. My breath quickens and I stand in front if him. "Didn't you know? If you touch us, you become one of us." I say shakily with tears drawing from my eyes. I can barely breathe.

         I look behind me at a terrified Brendon, I've never seen him like this before. I grab his shaking hand and hold it tightly with mine.

       When I look back around, people scream about us, scattering to their classes, us alone in the halls now. I think it worked.

       I turn back to Brendon, he launches into my arms shaking as he squeezed the life out of me. We cry into each other frantically while trying to be soothing but our shaking is making us seem crazy.

      "It's okay baby." Brendon pets by hair quick, breaking into a sob again.
"Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross. To the principals office immediately." The loud speaker spoke.