Dark Frerard Smut

So Perfectly Broken 2

Danger Days!Gee
ProRev!Frank

I have no words to describe this besides, "I love this oneshot with every fiber of my being". It came out great.

FYI: the parts that are written in this font are parts from the first So Perfectly Broken that I inserted because I thought they blended in nicely in the oneshot.

Hope you enjoy! :)

xoxoxo

There's something about that certain type of thoughts not all people have - in fact, it almost seems to me like I'm the only one who has it. I know it's not only me, this is simply how I feel. I've never talked to other people who have it, not personally for that manner, but I know they exist, because as alone as I feel on this, lots of people must be going through the same thing. I wonder how they deal with it. Probably not the same as I do. Other people would go to therapists in this case, or a psychiatrist, or whatever the system will provide them. Not me.

Happiness.

Well, maybe it wasn't me. Maybe it was him telling the lies, convincing me to act normal and explain things in a reasonable way so I don't look crazy. But oh, I know I'm crazy. What I let other people see isn't half of what's going on inside me. I'm a trainwreck, I'm a full on tornado and I'm a mess, but no one can know, I can't express it with words to anyone - not like he would ever let me if I could.

My long lost friend - happiness.

It's like I'm not in control over them anymore. They used to entertain me and keep me creative, give me ideas for stories, songs, things that I liked to do. They gave me the tools and the weapons to create whatever I wanted and to be whoever I could dream of being. That's not the case anymore. Because at some point, they simply got bored of my usual interests, they wanted something more.

And that's what turned them dangerous.

I'd won it back.

I'm happy. Finally. I'd healed. My old scars had faded away into nothing but far away memories, only weak lines to remind me of the person I am not anymore. All my demons had died. Voices hunting me wherever I went, they're gone. They're finally gone. I'm free.

That's how they'd eventually turned into him - my dream devil, the nearly human form my millions of thoughts had taken, the guy who knows all my darkest secrets and all my desperate passions I didn't get to fulfill in reality.

I didn't care that he was bad, I didn't care that he wasn't real, merely a creation of my twisted mind. I needed him. He's so beautiful. He's destroyed me in the best and worst ways and he has me all to himself.

And him? He's not here anymore. I'd broken him in return, I'd earned my strength and fought him until he was nothing but a faded scar as well. I'd beaten him down to the point where he was no longer in control over me, and all the sex he thought he could provide couldn't change that, not his gentle tone that would get to me instantly, not his unreal touch, not the fire in his eyes, not his voice. Nothing. Gerard is dead.

I am lying in my bed again, the brink of tears stinging in my eyes. I'm shaking. The moon hits my broken face as I feel myself fall apart. The pain, it's encasing me and it's biting at my very flesh, hurting me. Again. Not again. This can't happen again. Why am I so weak? I don't know. I don't want this to happen, but.. but I do? What is happening? I'm always so confused when I'm like this. When I talk about it, it might seem so simple. So intriguing and sweet. But while it's happening I'm torn, I'm unfixable, I'm being attacked and I'm being beaten to the core, helpless, hopeless, afraid. They're tormenting me and they're enjoying it. I can't breathe, I can't move. I want them to go away but they wouldn't. I need someone to help me. "No one will show up". I believe them when they say it. I really do...